Death on the Nile (2022)

 

Running Time: 127 minutes

Media: Cinematic release at local cinema

While I love my local cinema, it's cozy and simple, and reminds me of the times I used to go to the Beverly Hills Twin Cinema when I was much younger, I've had to deal with the fact that a) we're still living our lives within a pandemic, b) seats are a lot tougher to acquire as a result and c) I was surrounded by other movie-goers wanting to watch the film. I'm still a little paranoid about other movie-goers being too close, can you blame me?

Anyhow, I tried to not let this detract me from enjoying this film. Like the first film, Murder on the Orient Express, the audience is treated with a star-studded ensemble cast, including director/actor Kenneth Branagh once again as the famous Hercule Poirot and his good friend, Bouc, played by Tom Bateman. Throw in Armie Hammer, Gal Gadot, Annette Benning, Letitia Wright, a very serioous Russell Brand (which blew my mind) and the team up of none other than both Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders among many others and you have a feast for the eyes and ears.

We're treated with a brief history look back at 1914 during World War I, which explains a few things regarding Poirot, and his double handlebar moustache. I love the fact that there was consideration of detailing this as a means of explaining part of his own history, and detailing information about his lost love, Katherine. I felt this was a great way of tying up the two films together to provide context that viewers of both films could enjoy. While you didn't need to be a fan of Agatha Christie's books to enjoy these films, these small details provided something that can help sutain the cinematic universe being created by these two films.

The film fast forwards to three years after the events of Murder on the Orient Express, which lead to Poirot witnessing events unfold between a love triangle between Linnet Ridgeway (Gadot), Simon Doyle (Hammer) and Jackie de Bellefort, and then having his life entwined when he finds himself in Egypt and coming across Bouc flying a box kite on one of the Great Pyramids ("because no one has ever done it before" according to Bouc... Hell, why not?)

Poirot is then invited to join in the festivities of Linnet and Simon's wedding, with Jackie in stalker mode, and a number of guests at Assouan; and then leading to the events of all parties boarding the S.S. Karnak to travel along the Nile. Some time later, despite Linnet's concerns that she does not trust any of her guests (which to be honest, is a bit of a weird thing... after all, why invite a number of people you don't trust to your own wedding?), she is found dead, shot in the head. Let the investigation begin!

All guests have underlying stories as to why they are there, and their relation to the bride and the groom. A former fiancee, a cousin lawyer, a former school friend, the groom's former lover, the godmother, a family friend, the maid and more, all get their time in the spotlight. I have to admit, seeing Russell Brand in a serious role floored me... He needs to do more of those... Armie Hammer, I don't know... he seemed... very out of place in this film, almost a caricature of himself, and his dance routine with Emma Mackey as Jackie at the start of the film seemed like nothing more than a raunchy distraction which felt like it didn't belong in this type of film. I guess I'm speaking from a place as one who has read a number of Agatha Christie's novels, and the storyline compared to what I saw in the film, I guess I had some difficulty making the connection.

Having seen Gal Gadot in a number of empowered roles (Fast & Furious, Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman '84, Justice League, Batman vs Superman, and more recently Red Notice) recently, it's difficult to see her as a vulnerable woman in the eyes of the audience. I keep expecting her to kick ass, so her character potrayal while refreshing is not as believeable. As usual her beauty shines, but unfortunately, in this film her character shines far less... 

Letitia Wright's accent as Rosalie Otterbourne feels forced, and thus sounds fake, despite her character's wholesomeness. Ali Fazal's portayal of Andrew Katchadourian comes across as a token villain, and the portayal of French and Saunders together as a duo once more in more ways than one in the story (you will understand what I mean once you come across the relevant scene three-quarters through the film) feels contrived to appeal to certain modern-day demographics, especially considering that this wasn't how they were portrayed in the source material. It seems it was only really thrown in there as an afterthought. Annette Benning as Bouc's mother comes across like an overbearing mother who wants nothing more than to protect her son.

The background scenery throughout the film is beautiful with wonderful shots of Egyptian landmarks, even though filming took place only in England, so kudos to the editors to blending in these shots with the filmed work in England. The costumes are more vibrant than what I expected to be present in the late 1930's, to help brighten the plot and help the audience focus on the majority of the somewhat two-dimensional characters.

Throughout the film, Branagh's Poirot shines, not just with regards to his egotistic behavior of being the world's greatest detective, but also when this persona is flipped on its ass when he realizes how vulnerable he himself is. Seeing Poirot as vulnerable is something you wouldn't see in Andrew Suchet's or Peter Ustinov's portrayals, so this is refreshing and we as an audeience find ourselves relating and empathizing with him as we take the journey with him. Bateman as Bouc follows through from Orient Express with his whimsical devil-may-care outlook on life through to the end, and this is commendable. You find yourself getting hit hard towards the end when you find this lifestyle coming back to haunt him. Russell Brand... Oh my f[CENSORED]king god, knowing what I have seen of his other films like Arthur, Get Him to the Greek, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and then seeing this side of him has made me appreciate the man much more. I want more serious roles for him. This is like what I saw with Jim Carrey in The Majestic, a flip side which makes you think "Wow."

The soundtrack is peppered with jazz numbers sung by Sophie Okonedo and others which are catchy, amid orchestration which is easily forgettable. This film is just enough to get you escaping to the 1930's and having you observe the unravelling of the tale without having to delve into the source material, while still maintaining a considerable grasp of it, with enough changes to warrant a 21st century's audience's attention. I'm giving Death on the Nile 3½ stars and hoping that they bring the third of the series out... Hopefully a rendition of "Death in the Clouds"?

Alien (1979)

 

Running Time: 112 minutes

Media: DVD

 

A few months ago, a great actor, John Hurt died from cancer at the age of 77. This was one of his earlier movies, and it seemed to be a great idea for a tribute review in dedication of him. He will be forever remembered in his varied roles, including that of the titular Elephant Man, as Ollivander in the Harry Potter series, and the War Doctor in the Doctor Who franchise. He captured our hearts and imaginations and for that I am truly grateful that he graced our lives. Rest in peace, John.

So, without further ado, we move our focus to the actual film itself, Alien, released in 1979. Star Wars – A New Hope, which released some three years earlier served as the coat tails, for which this movie pretty much ride on, with Ridley Scott clinging on to George Lucas with his interpretation of what aliens could be.

Scott paints an eerie picture of isolation, desperation and horror in this film. But how well does it pay-off?

I will tackle the one at a time… Isolation, we have a deep space towing vessel, naturally, in deep space, making its way back to earth with a huge haul of some kind of magical space ore that must be worth a motza on the profits alone. Looking back on this some 38 years since its release, it seems quite cliche to say the least. To be honest, this movie did pretty much set the trend for many well-used film cliches over the next forty or so years. The sets alone, cold, dark, dimly lit and yet, correct me if in wrong here, some look like they had been padded with leather in places (?), still give a feeling of solitude. Hell, they even throw in a freaking cat into the mix to add the "We're all alone up here, let's give it the 'Crazy Cat Lady' feel" cliche. The cat served as a semi-plot device for part of the film, kinda like how Wilson the volleyball did in Cast Away, but less convoluted. Cat does jump-scare, where's the cat, must save cat from villain, end scene with cat...

I know the tagline of "In space no one can hear you scream" was meant to send chills down your spine; I mean, come on, this was meant to be for all intents and purposes, the first space horror, right? I kinda took this a little literally. Of course not, I thought, once you're in space, there isn't sufficient atmosphere to carry sound waves, not to mention, if you're in space, you'd freeze-dry before you could get the scream out. Maybe the tagline should have been written as "In the right kind of pressurized atmospheric environment, people could probably hear you scream"...?

But I digress... It's this setting that makes the audience feel isolated, kinda depressed and trapped, that it forces them to sit and live the plot as it unfolds. You feel the cabin fever and paranoia of Veronica Cartwright's character creep inside you as crew members get cut down, one by one. It's like watching Scream in outer space, but without the crazy motive. You already feel the inevitability of Tom Skerritt's character as soon as he enters the air ducts. You know he's gonna die in there. The lovely xenomorph does the lovely jump scare and you half expect it to say "Whassup!"

Personally, I thought this scene was somewhat comical in nature, a bit like the scene in The Exorcist where Reagan does the projectile vomit bit.

Desperation seems to drive paranoia and vice versa. Parker, played by Live or Let Die actor Yaphet Kotto, seems more focused on surviving for profits' sake. I have to admit, I was surprised that he and Lambert (Veronica Cartwright) lasted as long as they did. I'll be brutally honest, I wanted Lambert to die far sooner than she did in the film.

Now, let's focus on the horror aspect of Alien. I was three when this came out, I'm forty now, so thirty-seven years of experiences to prepare me for this film and what it had in store. I was gripped on the edge of my seat for about forty or so minutes while the Face Hugger latched onto Kane's face and played tonsil hockey, only to have it die later on, and then have the tiny alien burst out Kane's chest... It kinda went all anticlimactic after that. Jump scares and things latching onto faces and aliens bursting out of chests is all very well and good. But somehow, this teensy little alien hit xenomorph puberty and grew to umpteen feet in a few hours film time... What..!? How does that f[CENSORED]king work? Ridley, you have some explaining to do, bro.

Aside from these, there's the mouth on the tongue in a mouth thing... That's the stuff nightmares are made out of... How many levels does that go?

And to be honest, if you're into something that will make you feel both in awe and disgust, google "Xenomorph Pikachu".

But that aside, one thing most of us didn't expect seeing was an android, in this case, Ash, who basically blindly followed orders without a care. All crewmen were expendable. Fast forward to when Ripley, Lambert, Parker and Ash were the only crew members left, the 'android murder' scene was both scary and ridiculous at the same time. Parker managed to cut Ash's head off and was still flailing about like a headless chicken, but with what looked like semi-cooked linguine sticking out of his neck, and bleeding what looked like condensed milk... In fact, the android interrogation scene kinda looks like an orgy gone wrong. You just have to take my word for it and see the movie...

So let's cut to the chase. What did I think of Sigourney Weaver in the film? This initial performance as Ellen Ripley, I have to confess, was actually kinda wooden in places. Bearing in mind that this was her third film at that point in time, I kinda also blame Dan O'Bannon for writing her character that way. Ripley became less one-dimensional in later movies and so I fail to see why O'Bannon didn't consider any character development for Ripley within this film. I mean, she's meant to be the surviving cast member of this film, and we barely see her running away from the alien, let alone really facing up to it. More stay put, dodge, then blow it out the airlock... I don't know, it felt like it needed something to kick it up a notch. The face hugger scene was great, but once Tom Skerritt's character was on the chopping block, the film kinda followed suit. It almost feels like they were in a hurry to get to a happy-ish kind of ending and weren't afraid to make certain sacrifices to achieve that...

I'm willing to give Alien a 3½ star rating only because this was one of those watershed moments that dramatically changed the way we thought about horror and science fiction, even though it does lack in character development of the main protagonist and it rushes to the ending such that its lustre is lost on the audience. I hope to be reviewing the sequel Aliens soon, and I hope that I'll be giving it a higher rating.

The Queen

Running Time: 97 minutes

Media: TV Broadcast

I have a big crush on Helen Mirren, and she is by far one of the most attractive women of the silver screen. Seeing her in the role of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II was by far an inspired move on the part of the casting director, about a close second to the casting of Robert Downey, Junior as Tony Stark in Iron Man.

The film The Queen focuses on the events surrounding the death of Princess Diana on the 31st of August, 1997. Despite efforts of the Royal Family to treat the matter as a private affair and not to be treated as an official Royal death; public outcry throughout the United Kingdom as well as the firm, but gentle hand of then Prime Minister, Tony Blair (played by Underworld star Michael Sheen) the focus is moved to match the general public's desire for an official expression of grief by the Royal family. The events that transpire to this conclusion are reflected by the general public's steady decline of the monarchy, and an increase of Blair's popularity since his election some few months prior to the death of Diana. Ironically, the situation was reversed in real life with the film's release (September 15, 2006), which coincided with a revival of favor in the eyes of the public in respect to the monarchy and a downward trend in popularity for Blair, who resigned some several months later (June 27, 2007).

This film is a difficult one to critique, because the separation between truth and reality is somewhat blurred in historical/political films such as this. One could only really gather that this film is an aggregated average of events that transpired, based on witness testimony, the various television reports and the formal inquiry findings relating to Diana's death. Mirren plays the role of Elizabeth beautifully, portraying her in a manner that reflects the stern-faced monarch a number of people have associated her to be, how a queen should be portrayed, supposedly devoid of emotion. The ending scene is quite hilarious in the nature of her reaction to Blair's attempts at "small talk" (to put it mildly). Mirren plays the role with strength, courage and humility; I mean, let's face it, this is a huuuuuuge role to play... I am incredibly enamored with how convincing she plays the titular character. Mirren's popularity increased with the release of this film, which garnered general critical and popular acclaim for her; so much that Mirren was invited to dinner at Buckingham Palace after the film's release. However, due to filming commitments in Hollywood, Mirren couldn't attend the event. I just hope HRH didn't take the decline of the invitation to personally!

Blair played by Michael Sheen is effective; a little comical and his head is a little on the inverted egg shape, which differs somewhat to Blair himself, but indeed effective. His portrayal, no doubt, received some praise due to his reprisal of the role in movies The Deal (the previous film in which he played Blair) and The Special Relationship (a later release). Should I consider that reason enough to boost my rating of this film? Perhaps, but there are other factors.

James Cromwell, the only other A-grade actor to appear in this film plays the role of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, is a well received panacea amongst the other events and characters that transpire throughout the film. He almost serves as comedy relief due to the use (or perhaps abuse) of the character and the stereotype set upon him as a prejudiced, opinionated royal who has nothing but insults to hurl at other characters and the general public. it's actually quite amusing seeing him refer to the crowds gathering at the memorials as Zulus, it's enough to make you cringe, but also enough to make you chuckle, in realizing that this is exactly what Prince Philip is renowned for. Cromwell looks and acts very similar to how I pictured the Royal back then, and not as the frail but still quite opinionated Prince Philip of today.

From here the cast kinda falls apart with semi lookalikes and events that may have just been added to the film as filler to pad it out to over ninety minutes. The chap playing Prince Charles, Alex Jennings... Where the hell did they conceive that this was a good idea? The poor casting of this character made Charles look like a crude caricature of himself at the very best! I'm sure that if they had looked a little harder they could have found three or four other actors who could very well have filled the role better than Jennings.

The Land Rover stuck in the river and the glancing of the deer scene, some five or so minutes that I will never get back again, regardless of the fact that she "was a mechanic during the War." I have no idea if this ever really happened... and yes, it was a beautiful stag. So was Bambi's dad, I hear... It seems incredibly irrelevant. The casting of Sylvia Syms as the Queen Mother was imaginative at best, almost making her seem like they had taken Hattie Jacques from the Carry On films and popped her in the film. Yeah... Nah.

So where does this leave us? It leaves us with a film that despite the brilliant casting of the title role, is screaming for attention and not really getting the full attention it deserves. It's like a 1972 Corvette Stingray, but with faded blue paint, high mileage and balding tyres... The potential is there, and we know what it is meant to be, but all we see is that it's trying to be something it no longer is... or at least something it could be with a little more work on it, including a tune-up and oil change. Peter Morgan has written the film wonderfully, but I'm left wondering whether I can take the overall film seriously, or the serious parts of the film overall. If I were to knowingly shave the non-essential parts of the film off, it could potentially be reduced down to about 17 minutes. However, despite this, this film has reaped the various awards set upon it, including 29 awarded to Mirren alone; so I cannot demote it completely. Therefore, I award this film 3½ stars, and still maintain that Helen Mirren is still one of the most attractive 68 year-olds in my humble opinion.

The Sum of All Fears

Running Time: 124 minutes

Media: TV Broadcast

I thought, "Why not?" The idea of seeing Ben Affleck play the role of Dr. Jack Ryan was appealing enough, and I had attempted to watch this once before, and had given up... So last night, by the advice of my future father-in-law, I settled back and watched this film.

Tom Clancy, the author of the originating book, also plays the role of executive producer here... and it seems he was quite pleased with the results... Despite the fact that originally Jack Ryan was portrayed by Harrison Ford in Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger, and then by Alec Baldwin in The Hunt for Red October; it seems that Ryan is getting younger and younger...

But it seems that Ben Affleck is a good fit for this reboot of the series, though up to a point, and I will explain this further in my review. Surprisingly, there has been little encouragement since the film came out ten years ago to push for a sequel. A bit sad really, as I did enjoy this film, but once again, to a certain degree, and this too will be explained later on in the review.

That being said, there were significant changes from the book to film conversion. Tom Clancy joking admitted on the commentary track on the film's DVD that he was "the author of the book that he...", Phil Alden Robinson, the director, who is present with Clancy, "...ignored." And the fact that the author is happy to joke about the changes made is a good sign that it should be enjoyed. The strongest change was the deviation of the villains in the book from Islamic extremists to Neo-Nazis. This change was not due to the 9/11 attacks, as filming ended in June 2001, some three or so months before the 9/11 attacks.

Here Jack Ryan played by Affleck is brought in by the CIA director, William Cabot (played by the all powerful Morgan Freeman), to advise on the ever mounting tension between the United States and Russia, with the death of the former Russian president.

Alexander Neremov is sworn in as the new president, and he's supposedly a real hard-ass... Ciarán Hinds, who plays the role of Neremov is frightening, almost too scary too approach, but his portrayal is quite seasoned actor on both TV, stage and screen, he's done very well. He has this stone cold look, one that says "I can't feel a thing, I cannot show emotion." True, but sadly, he also looked like he also had suffered a mild stroke with his look. But given the nature of his role I am willing to let this slide.

Throw in a potential nuclear threat in the form of a dirty nuclear bomb to be detonated somewhere in the United States and it becomes a race to find the culprits before it's too late. With Ryan taking orders from none other than William Cabot, the director of the FBI, played by Morgan Freeman, one of the most charismatic actors of all time, the scene changes dramatically with every new revelation... The problem is, is that this change seems to occur a little too quickly. I mean, come on, granted, they have two hours within this film to bring us up to speed, but a lot of it seems to happen all at once, making you lose the flow of the plot. I had a little trouble trying to wrap my head around what was happening, and wondering why certain... "unnecessary" scenes were thrown in to make things connect together.

Freeman is great as Cabot, he plays the role well, and had me convinced of his leadership and ability to command, but then again, he seems to have that effect, doesn't he? I'm not sure what it is about him, but he seems to embody every role with such confidence. His demeanor in the film is such that he comes across as dry, but humorous when he needs to be. It makes the audience side with him and treat him as someone other than a cold and heartless man who is only concerned about his job. Thus, kudos to Freeman, as per usual.

Affleck... Ben Affleck, does he pull it off as a former military man turned CIA analyst? Yes and no. He works well as Jack Ryan, but having first seen  Patriot Games many years ago, I half-expected some of the grittiness of Harrison Ford to seep into his younger counterpart. Not so, as he seems somewhat unsure and  unready to tackle things head on; which kinda conflicts with his military history. It's not convincing enough, very amateurish, kinda like watching a newly-born giraffe get on his feet for the first time and walking. He kinda stumbles through the plot and discovers various things by pure accident, albeit a lot of it through secondary characters that seem to favor the odds to complete serendipity than focused research.

My final focus is on James Cromwell... This man has played presidents here and there, from West Wing as D. Wire Newman, to RFK, as Lyndon B. Johnson, and now as President J. Robert Fowler. My God, Fowler is a hard-ass, he's stubborn, he's emotional, he's a tortured soul... He's brilliant. I think having had played presidents after this one has confirmed his fit for such a role. Normally when I think of Cromwell, I think of peaceful characters, but he amazingly pushes through regardless of the madness around him. Cromwell is convincing enough to follow through.

Secondary characters abound, the convenience of Grushkov coming through towards the end, as well as the set up of the initial encoutner between Neremov and Ryan kinda spoils it toward the end. I also found the logic of the "engagement" between Ryan and his girlfriend a little strange, especially considering that they had only been together a few weeks according to the film (maybe I heard it wrong, but it seemed a little quick to me!)

Given the pace and the cast of the film, I was tempted to score high, but I'm compelled to score it three and a half stars as I'm not thoroughly convinced that they pulled it off completely, sure, it was wrapped up towards the end, but a little too neatly... It gave me one of those involuntary cringes when I discovered this tying up, and as a result I'm sticking to my guns. The Sum of All Fears as a result, get 3½ stars.

Looper

Running Time: 118 minutes.

Media: Cinematic release.

Now I have to confess, I was a little slack in reviewing this film when I had the opportunity, but I did have a trip to Hawaii some few days after and no opportunity to boot up the blog and make it happen. This film has recently been released on DVD and Blu-Ray, so I recommend that you consider purchasing it.

"Recommend?" you hear me say... Does that mean that the Movie Madman is endorsing this movie? He is indeed, endorsing this movie. I actually found it quite an interesting one, albeit with some reservations, which I'll explain later. But then again, I am a science fiction fan (as opposed to being a science fiction freak), and this movie does play on the concept of time travel fairly well. The trick is with this movie is to bear in mind that there are certain sequences that must be considered in a certain order when watching the film. It also kinda helps if a diagram such as the one below, is drawn to help you understand what's going on. This kind of timeline in comparison to that of, say, the timeline of Primer, is tame in comparison. Take a deep breath before clicking that previous link, you have been duly warned.

We don't need no stinkin' Deloreans!

So how did this story line come about? Well, here's the Cliff Notes version. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the role of a hired assassin, Joe, who eventually has the opportunity to retire from the business when he shoots his future self sent back in time. Only drawback is, of course, that he would naturally know that some thirty years down the track he'll be sent through time to be shot by his younger self.

Now, here's the clincher. Bruce Willis, action hero extraordinaire, plays the older version of Joe. He's purposely sent himself back in time, not to get shot, but to kill the guy that eventually got his wife killed, who is at this point in Young Joe's life is just a little kid. So we have a young assassin trying to kill his older self who in turn is trying to kill some kid. Sounds a bit far-fetched, but that's only the time travel talking. You kinda get used to the ride once you start recognizing what's happening and when.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, what can I say about this guy that I haven't previously? In the last three years, he's appeared in Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Looper and Lincoln. He's made his performance in this recent film an incredible one and he just keeps on ticking, adding more and more to his repertoire. He's a fairly high commodity right now, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is just his way of warming up! JGL's performance as the younger version of "Joe" is remarkable, even down to the prostheses he wore to resemble a young Bruce Willis. He actually has a kind of James Dean look about him, and the nuances and voice intonation are remarkable. Throughout the majority of the movie, his demeanor is very calm and collected and that just added another level to it all. The chemistry between JGL and Willis is perfect, showing to sides of the same coin, though showing it some thirty years apart, and it works.

As to Bruce Willis, the man does not give up, A Good Day to Die Hard will be appearing in cinemas in 2013, and as far as I can tell John McClane's ex-wife is still yet to thank him for saving her life... Twice... As per usual his ability to play action hero pays off in playing the role of an action anti-hero, per se; or better yet, playing the role of villain without being the actual villain. I wish I could elaborate on that, but it's a little difficult to do so. Let's just say that he's a victim of circumstance. The role of Old Joe is corrupted enough to suit Willis, who seldom plays bad guys, to help portray him in the light best suited to view him as someone who didn't want to be bad, but had to be in order to get back what he lost so undeservingly. You almost feel sorry for the guy, who has risked everything to turn back the clock, quite literally. But OMG, there's a scene later on in the film where you see some serious need for anger management classes. He really lets his rage fly and that only brings us a little closer to understanding how much he's lost and what he'd do to get it back.

And speaking of anger management, Whoooooo! It seems the rage thing is a common trend in this film, the kid I mentioned earlier that Joe Senior has to kill off... I wouldn't want to piss this kid off, because his rage is some serious s[CENSORED]t right there, let me tell you. He makes the stuff that you see with Jean Grey at the start of X-Men 3 seem timid in comparison. Though he didn't really capture my heart either... Part of me kinda wishes Older Joe had succeeded because this kid is a bit of brat behaviorally, or in need of some serious mood-controlling medication.

Oh, and how did Emily Blunt get an American accent all of a sudden? I was kinda shocked to hear that kind of enunciation from her... Not that I was disappointed with it, far from it, I was just very surprised. She plays the role of the kid's mother who plays some pivotal role in this time travel affair. She's very nice in the film, although, she was waving a shotgun in the direction of JGL... It doesn't cancel one another out but she's seriously got issues with getting close to people, if the first date involves waving a shotgun in your face. She's very different to how I remember her from The Devil Wears Prada. Throw in a few second rate characters like those played by Jeff Daniels and Piper Perabo and... who haven't appeared in much lately and you have a semi-plausible cast who do make the plot move forward, but not with the enthusiasm I had originally anticipated with this movie.

As much as I liked Looper I have to confess I didn't really love it. The movie starts off well and gives a full rundown of how the time travel schtick works, but it seems to hurry up and try to sort everything out as quickly and neatly as possible. Angry kid, Joe Senior and a number of baddies resolve to do this with bullets and explosions and a couple of grunts here and there and the final ending as performed by Gordon-Levitt actually kinda serves as a sigh of relief for the film but also for the audience. I actually was glad that it ended when it did. I'm sure it did well in the box office, last check I made it had reached over $166 million in the States, but I don't think this was from repeat viewers; and if it was it was from geeks who were desperately trying to understand the timeline. I am awarding Looper 3½ stars for a valiant effort, but with a very haphazard rush to the finish with a cast of characters that seriously need a Valium or two to settle down...

Labyrinth

Running Time: 101 minutes

Media: DVD

I've had to think long and hard about this review, mainly because this review is dedicated to my niece, Ashleigh, who adores this movie... But I have to admit, I have my reservations about this flick... Granted, it stars a 16 year-old Jennifer Connelly, with whom I had a major crush on back then, (hey, I was ten back then, what can I say?) and granted, it was one of her first movies, and granted it has Jim Henson's puppets in place... But that's kinda where the fun stops...

Connelly's portrayal of Sarah seems a little reminiscent of a little princess type who always seem to get her way until her father married someone new... It's assumed from the movie that the mother must have passed on some time back but that Sarah is still not happy about having a step-mother, nor a new half-brother called Toby, with whom she unknowingly manages to get kidnapped by Jareth, the Goblin King, played by singer David Bowie... And it's now up to Sarah to make her way through Jareth's labyrinth in order to reach his castle and rescue her baby brother before he becomes a goblin himself.

Although David Bowie is a talented and handsome man, er... goblin... er... yeah, whatever... His performance, falls a little flat when playing off the character of Sarah... It's almost like there's a missing element between these two that without it, doesn't quite mesh them together... Bowie seems to act well with Henson's puppets incredibly well, as though he were a guest on an episode of Sesame Street... This along with some somewhat dis-jointed song cues within the film as well as some rather... "revealing" ballerina tights or equestrian pants Bowie wears, and you're left feeling a bit uncomfortable...

There is a scene with some almost romantic element which I think was a bit confronting to me, but I guess I tend to analyze things a fair bit... But given the almost near seductive quality that a 39 year-old Bowie had on a 16 year-old Connelly in this scene, I have some entitlement to this opinion... The balance just seems a bit off, despite how charismatic Mr Bowie can be...

Regardless, the movie has a few areas where I had myself repeating lines, like those of a large horned behemoth called Ludo who has a lot of friends who just happen to be rocks... Henson has done a great job with this as he had with Fraggle Rock and The Dark Crystal with his amazing direction and puppetry... Though this time, it's the human characters are the ones that seem to fall short... And as a result, while Labyrinth is still a wonderful movie, the acting by the puppets seems to outweigh in strength than those performances by Bowie and Connelly, and thus this film is awarded 3½ stars...

Starship Troopers

Running Time: 129 minutes.

Media: Digital Download.

Wikipedia lists this movie as "a military science fiction thriller film"... Well, two out of three ain't bad, Wikipedia... It certainly has military elements, and it certainly has a very strong sci-fi feel to it... But for it to be classed as a thriller? I think the authors of this article of this film need to re-think their categorization skills!

I'm going to skip the main critique for a moment and go straight to the rating side of this review... I've given this movie 3½ stars... Why? Because in my opinion it's only a half-decent film... But it's not a decent one, I'll tell you that much... The acting is somewhat wooden, the actors a little more so, and the script is a little... something in the middle between "hilarious" and "pathetic"... I don't think there is a word, but if there was it would be something between these two extremes...

This film is set in the not-too-distant future, and we see our three main characters played by Casper Van Dien; the former Mrs Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards; and the former Doogie Howser, MD, Neil Patrick Harris who are located in a Buenos Aires high school, in a world which is in war with a world filled with large hostile insect-like aliens called Arachnids, or known better to the general population as "bugs"; and citizenship is a privilege, earned by serving in the military forces. Johnny Rico, played by Van Dien, signs up for the military to stay close to Carmen, played by Richards, who has signed up as a pilot. Their friend, Carl Jenkins, played by Harris joins up with the Military Intelligence group... There's also a redhead by the name of Dizzy Flores , played by Dina Meyer who in a way kinda stalks Rico by joining the military along with him... Ah, unrequited love...

The movie is sprinkled with a number of recognizable actors here and there, inclusive of Jake Busey (who has kinda grown up since his "stoner"-persona days), Clancy Brown (who may be recognizable as Victor Kurgan, from Highlander, as well as his voicing Lex Luthor in a number of Warner Bros/DC Comics animations), and Michael Ironside (who is well known for a number of "tough guy" roles, as well as his voice-acting as Darkseid in Superman: The Animated Series)... Beyond this, the movie has a number of scenes that are so hammy it will make a devout Jew say it's non-kosher...

There are a few saving graces, one which involves some partial nudity on the part of Dina Meyer... and also some rather poignant areas along the film where Michael Ironside says something profound... everything else seems a little over the top and over-done... I don't wish to stray from my 3½ star rating, and I won't... it's corny, but it has somehow developed into a bit of a cult-classic... The "so bad it's good defense", and so to rate it any less would take away from that... But to rate it any higher would give rise to calls that I have rated it higher than it deserves... And those that would say that would be correct... If I awarded it three stars, I would have to justify it... I'm choosing not to rate it any higher. Starship Troopers amazingly spawned two sequels... neither of which I have seen, but when I do, it will hopefully garner higher ratings than those that I have given to this movie.

Hook

Running Time: 144 minutes

Media: DVD

I bought this DVD some time last week and made it an objective to see this movie as soon as I could... I sat through it, rather enjoying it, but I was blown away at how this story line managed to stretch for almost two-and-a-half hours...

The premise of this movie is that Peter Pan (Robin Williams) grows up, falling in love with Wendy's grand-daughter, eventually getting married and having two kids, and a cushy job in mergers and acquisitions... Peter Pan, now known as Peter Banning eventually forgets who he is, or rather, was, and when his kids get kidnapped by Captain James Hook, played by Dustin Hoffman... He has to find his way back to Never Land with the aid of Tinkerbell (Julia Roberts) and not only find his kids, but also the person he lost along the way, himself.

What amazes me is that this film seems shorter than it really is, in retrospect, I'm not sure how they did it to be honest... But then again, given it's directed by Steven Spielberg it becomes a little easier to comprehend how such a feat is possible...

The transformation from a total nigel that Williams's character starts off as Peter Banning, to something a little more suited to his playfulness as Peter Pan is enjoyable to watch. Hoffman's portrayal of Hook is pleasant at first, but then becomes a little over the top as the movie progresses... Cameos pad the movie here and there with Gwyneth Paltrow and Phil Collins, and the performances by Banning's kids are kinda ho-hum. Most of the enjoyment from the film either comes from Williams and his interaction with Hoffman or Williams and his interaction with the Lost Boys...

The movie overall kinda drones on and on, and yet is enjoyable at the same time... This is confusing for one to process, seeing that the movie is both enjoyable and yet long-winded... So, while I did enjoy Hook considerably, I am still inclined to award the movie 3½ stars.

Blade, Blade II and Blade: Trinity

Running Times: 120 minutes, 117 minutes and 113 minutes respectively.
Media: DVD.

I'm probably a bit crazy to see three vampire films back to back, but ask anyone who is a fan of the Twilight series of movies and they'll tell you something else.

The Blade movie trilogy does its best to work Wesley Snipes as the title character and does so rather well, but only for so long. The first movie focuses on the world of dhampir (half-human, half-vampire) Blade whose sole purpose it seems is to rid the world of vampires. Buffy Summers what the hell out... This bastard doesn't do bubble-gum horror. 

Blade in itself is a great movie and while a few scenes are clearly CGI, the movie itself is great to gain a basic grasp of the mythology behind the Marvel comic book character created in 1973. Stephen Dorff plays the ruggedly handsome Deacon Frost, Blade's nemesis in the movie, while the near immortal Kris Kristofferson plays Abraham Whistler, a kind of fatherly Van Helsing type character with a limp. This movie has a few areas which defy belief, for example; a vampire can tolerate sunlight provided they have an ample supply of high-strength sunblock.

Blade seems to have more credibility in this film than he does in the sequels, probably because of the lack of many other characters to tell the story... Wesley Snipes is a great choice for the character and I can see why the choice was made. It's a bit of a pity that he's currently serving time. I'm giving Blade 4 stars for a great film with plenty of action and the occasional blood-sucking vampire!

Okay, now for Blade II, in which Blade decides to join up (somewhat unwillingly) with what he hates the most, vampires; to hunt down an even greater threat, a mutation of vampires known as Reapers, only to find out there's a little conspiracy going on within the ranks.

The movie contains a few actors who, in retrospect are quite familiar with partaking in roles within horror-based movies... The godfather of horror, Ron Perlman, who seems to be a lot more handsome when he's playing Hellboy than when he did playing a Jewish gangster in Drive; and Tony Curran who played Markus Corvinus, the "first vampire" in the Underworld movie series.

I was pleasantly surprised to find Danny John-Jules (the guy who played Cat in the Red Dwarf) series also present, as I was a big Red Dwarf fan when I was younger, but have since not found him playing any major roles in anything. Luke Goss plays Jared Nomak, the original Reaper who is out to seek revenge for his father creating him. Goss's character is very much not necessarily an anti-hero, but more of an anti-villain... He didn't want to be the baad guy, but he.. just is... You kinda feel sorry for him in the end. The movie seems to have less distinguishable CGI, which to me is great, because you don't want to watch a movie and knowingly see CGI occurring... but the movie kinda ends a little sappily when Blade's co-hunter, Nyssa who's been bitten by Nomak wishes to "see the sun again one last time"... Blade seems to share what appears to be a quasi-intimate moment with her as she starts turning to ash as the sun rises. I've given this film 3½ stars for being able to continue the Blade franchise.

Lastly, Blade: Trinity... I think after six years the team at Marvel kinda started losing their touch with the series and decided to throw two new stars in the mix, the ever luscious Jennifer Biel, and the ever-wisecracking entity that is Ryan Reynolds. These two play Abigail Whistler and Hannibal King who are part of a vampire-fighting force known as the Nightstalkers. Their foe? Why only Count Dracula himself, who calls himself "Drake" nowadays... Guess Dracula... Drake likes to keep with the times!

The movie kinda gets a bit ridiculous at times, I'm not sure whether it's because Reynolds' jokes become a bit routine but are funny enough to keep the momentum going, or whether it's because of the somewhat hammy acting of Dominic Purcell, or the somewhat hammier acting of Parker Posey who plays one of Drake's minions, Danica Talos. I did manage to watch the film from start to end in one sitting... but I've come out of it somewhat disappointed... The movie seemed to end a lot quicker than normal, even though I was watching the extended version of the film... I guess what I can say is, that if Marvel do decide to do a reboot of the series, and that they do decide on say, Idris Elba, (of whom has expressed interest in the title role should there be a reboot), that they will have learned their lesson from this previous series... I guess this will be a matter of time as to whether this comes to fruition. I'm giving this 2½ stars due to it still being a somewhat reasonable film... but if it weren't for Jessica's good looks and Ryan's humor throughout the film, I probably would have not watched it.

Hercules Returns

Running Time: 82 minutes.
Media: File Download.

I must have seen this when I turned 17... which magically coincided with its release year of 1993. I'm not particularly sure why, but I think it's only because of my memories of how funny it seemed at the time that has made me see this movie yet again...

This movie is a send-up of the original movie, now bear with me here... Ercole, Sansone, Maciste e Ursus gli invincibili, (back in 1964), and as much of a cult following that Hercules Returns has, the film did provide not much more than a smile on my face with a number of the jokes that seemed to pile in one after another... Remember, I had last seen this movie about eighteen years ago and so I've matured considerably...

The movie focuses on Brad McBain, a film buff and employee of a large cinema chain, who quits his job to open a local cinema of his own. His ex-boss attempts to sabotage the opening night by switching film reels with an Italian copy and completely undubbed, so McBain (played by David Argue), his publicist Lisa (played by Mary Coustas) and Sprocket the projectionist (played by Bruce Spence) attempt to save the evening by dubbing over the original movie with their own voices...

...At least that's what we're led to believe... Des Mangan and Sally Patience are the once providing the majority of voices to the principal characters in the 1964 movie being shown and being dubbed. As wonderful as this was that such a feat of over-dubbing could be done... most of the references seemed to be more focused on the 1980's than any other time period and there seemed to be a lot of immature fart and sex jokes... which are great the first few that come around... but then seem to meld into one another, making them somewhat difficult to distinguish and therefore leaves you wondering whether there was any original humor. To be honest, I saw more talent in the over-dubbing made in Kung Pow: Enter the Fist wiht Steve Oedekerk.

I'd be curious to see how the original movie would review, but for now, I'm giving Hercules Returns 3½ stars...

Hancock

I have to apologize for my tardiness over this last week... so many movies to watch and just not enough time to view them all. I'd be seriously considering, as a means of penance, to review several "time" related movies in the near future.

Meantime, we're reviewing a movie I happened to pick up on the TV last night, an old favorite, even if it is a little goofy; Hancock, starring Will Smith, Charlize Theron and the ever immortal and yet, somewhat vanilla, Jason Bateman.

This movie revolves around our eponymous self-titled character, John Hancock, a man who hates himself more than others do, and what makes it even more strange is that this guy has super powers: invulnerability, flight, super speed, super strength, and so forth... And while he does fight the good fight against criminals in Los Angeles, he does so at the cost of infrastructure, people's personal property, as well as in one case, the life of a whale. Hancock, played by Will Smith, takes on the services of personal relations consultant, Ray Embrey, played by Jason Bateman, much to the disdain of wife Mary, played by the incredibly dazzling Charlize Theron. Additional hijinks occur with the discovery of a secret within the Embrey family and the need for revenge by three of Hancock's lock-aways in prison.

The movie has astounding special effects but as I said just a moment ago, it can get a little goofy... I honestly thought there would be more chemistry between Theron and Smith's characters, because they seem to steal every scene they're in. Bateman is vanilla, but seems to ooze a boyish kind of charm, like a boy scout who never grew up. This guy has hardly aged a bit since his days in The Hogan Family...

The movie starts off at a reasonable pace, but then ramps up way too quickly towards the end; I figure it could have slowed down a little more and as a result would have been a better movie by incorporating a little more storyline. Will is funny, in an anti-hero sort of way, non-flirtatious, which was perfect for this role. I think Peter Berg, the director was trying to cash in on a similar tangent to Robert Downey, Jr.'s portrayal of Tony Stark from Iron Man, but intentionally turning off the charm switch to get a low-esteem version of a superhero. He succeeds in doing this, but he doesn't overdo it. This movie gets 3½ stars for a great movie, but failing to provide a fuller sense of what this movie could have been if it had pushed harder.

Real Steel

Running Time: 127 minutes.
Media: Cinematic Release.

When I first heard about this particular movie, I was like "Hang on, I know this from somewhere..." and did a little digging... Sure enough the fifth film of my seven movie marathon on 29/10/2011, was based on an old 1963 Twilight Zone episode I had seen ages go in a re-run.

This sci-fi movie takes place in the not too distant future, in the year 2020. Regular boxing by humans has been replaced by robots. Hugh Jackman plays Charlie Kenton, a former boxer who owns such a robot who ultimately gets KO'd to pieces and is eventually replaced by Atom, the robot visible in the movie poster here, who ends up competin against a number of odds in teh robot boxing scene. Not only that but Charlie has to deal with his somewhat estranged son, Max, an eleven-year old Justin Bieber clone with an ego the size of a small third world nation. He's stubborn, supposedly quite knowledgeable and he despises his dad. What joy, what bliss...

The estranged parent and child storyline has been done ad absurdum, as has the underdog storyline... Putting the two together and throwing it in with CGI characters which resemble souped-up Rock'em Sock'em Robots from the early 1980's, gives some credibility to the film and pays the original story from which this was based, some well respected tribute; but this is not a film to be taken too seriously. It's definitely a film to take your kids to see, but after four rather great films, Real Steel didn't seem to sit as far up as the others I had seen that day. By this time, I had already seen four amazing films, it was edging toward 9pm and I kinda felt that the film was not on the same par. I honestly think it was the kid's ego in that film that spoiled it for me...

All in all, this would be a great movie to take the kids to, they'll enjoy the robots smashing one another, over and over again. Take them to see this film and they will do the beds, the dishes and the lawn for a good few weeks to make up for the joy they receive for seeing this film. Adults, it's a fairly decent effort and Jackman plays his part well enough to get some respect from the audience. Be on the lookout for Kevin Durand as Ricky, Charlie Kenton's nemesis. Those who have watched enough of Hugh Jackman over the years may recognize Durand as the actor who played Fred J. Dukes (aka The Blob) in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

I've given this movie 3½ stars for a decent effort, and great use of CGI.