The A*Team

Running Time: 117 minutes.
Media: DVD.

There has been a lot of controversy regarding this film's performance... Supposedly Roger Ebert, critic extraordinaire was a little "zealous" in his review, citing examples in physics to justify the ludicrousness of the scene with the falling tank... Ebert, in his efforts to do so, however, missed the important part of the film... The film itself.

Most films will require some amount of a thing known as "suspension of belief" where you tell your mind to not worry about certain concepts not making sense. Personally, if the suspension of belief is such that you have to say "hold on, let me call my physics professor to find out if that can actually be done..." then you're thinking too much and not enjoying yourself, and you just need to sit back and enjoy the ride...

And boy, does this film take you for a ride, a very thrilling one at that... This film is full of non-stop action scenes peppered with little sequences of suspense that keep you thinking. The film has kept a considerable adherence to the original TV series, paying homage to the original van, Hannibal's use of cigars and even B.A. Baracus's fear of flying. We have an alternative storyline that introduces how the A*Team became fugitives, and it works incredibly well. What seems to work just as well is the casting for each of the four members.

Now, a number of people have sledged those who made the movie saying that the casting for Liam Neeson as Hannibal was all wrong... That he wasn't the right fit and all... I hate to mention this but, George Peppard is dead, (may he rest in peace), and Liam is a very charismatic actor; who has been in more movies that have come out recently, than other characters of his caliber. This particular role was not intended to be an incredibly dramatic one, and Liam seemed to take to this character with the original spirit as Peppard did back in the early eighties... The only difference I see between the two versions is that though Neeson's Hannibal is still tactically brilliant and capable of making a plan come together, is not quite as unflappable as his TV counterpart. In fact, due to the betrayal nature of the storyline (concerning the "crime they did not commit"), Hannibal's often shown as intense and angry. But this kind of shake-up is good for a film like this... so I think he was perfect for the role, in my humble opinion.

Next! Bradley Cooper playing the role of Templeton "Faceman" Peck... I have to admit that this was an inspired move on the part of the casting directors... He's comedic, handsome and sophisticated. He seemed to channel the same flirtatious and womanizing nature of Face as his 1980's counterpart, Dirk Benedict. Both versions of the character are as charismatic as one another. Face was always seen as the roguish and debonair character, and Bradley has this in spades. Dirk Benedict actually has a little cameo near the end of the film, so keep watch for it!

Next! We have Quinton "Rampage" Jackson as B.A. Baracus... His actual name alone spells trouble! Rampage is an American mixed martial artist and a former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion. This man is one brother you wouldn't want to mess with... And his use of his skills does not go unnoticed in this film... His mohawk is not as prominent in the film as Mr. T's was in the TV series, and there is a reference to "I pity the fool" with his fists... It works well, but not as well as one would want... this would somehow be the only downside to this film. This does not say that Jackson cannot play the role of Bosco. He can, but this is a Bosco Albert Baracus of the twenty-first century, whereas the B.A. Baracus of yore, Mr. T, is now a born-again Christian and has lately appeared on infomercials for portable self-cleaning ovens...

Lastly, Sharlto Copely as H.M. Murdock... I was a little skeptical at first, only having then seen his performance in District 9, and not really having known him in anything other than this other film. So imagine my surprise when a South African opened his mouth only to have an American accent come through with the gusto of an insane man possessed... Sharlto has swallowed and embodied the essence of Murdock that would do Dwight Schultz (the 80's version of Murdock) proud... Dwight also appears in a cameo role in the end of the film as well, so another bonus for pop-culture enthusiasts such as myself!

The film also boasts the appearances of actors such as Gerald McRaney, for those who remember him in shows like Simon and Simon, and Major Dad; Jessica Biel, who always graces my presence whenever I see her on the big screen, and also Brian Bloom, who plays Pike, who also co-wrote the script for the film. Throw in some amazing special effects and creative distraction techniques to help suck you deep into the world that these people find themselves in and you have an incredible film which is guaranteed to entertain... If you're a voice-actor enthusiast, you may also notice Corey Burton narrating towards the end of the film. Corey is well known for a number of voice roles, including Braniac in the animated DC universe as well as Spike Witwicky and Shockwave from the Transformers cartoon series from the 1980's.

This film shows itself to be entertaining, humorous, intense and gripping its audience from the word go. It is filled with action, thrills and spills... And will keep you guessing what is happening... I thoroughly enjoyed the film and am pleased to award it five stars.

Legion

Running Time: 100 minutes.

Media: DVD.

This film, I must admit is a bit of a mind-f[CENSORED]k to a degree... Let me be honest here, we're dealing with an angel, Michael, the archangel, no less, who falls to Earth, cuts his wings off and tries to stop an apocalypse of epic proportions and save the cigarette-smoking mother-to-be of what is to be the savior of mankind.

Paul Bettany comes across as the very serious, and very well-armed archangel Michael; with Kevin Durand (known for his role as Fred J. Dukes, aka Blob from X-Men Origins: Wolverine) as the archangel Gabriel, Michael's "nemesis". Other old-school actors like Dennis Quaid, Charles S. Dutton, Tyrese Gibson, and Kate Walsh join the cast as well as a number of unknowns including some weird-ass old lady who likes to crawl up ceilings, and an ice-cream truck driver who makes the Frankenstein monster seem tame by comparison...

Movie review websites Rotten Tomatoes, Dread Central and BloodyDisgusting.com all gave reviews for this film with ratings between 10-20% and to be perfectly honest, I can see why.. This film is kinda pathetic, it's an apocalypse supernatural thriller film thinly disguised to be a serious apocalypse supernatural thriller. There's supposed deep and meaningful moments that contrast heavily amongst the somewhat bad acting that make the actors on Saved by the Bell seem like Emmy Award-winning actors. Durand, for some reason sounds too poetic and softly spoken in this film... Quaid's performance is wooden, and I'm starting to think he's been losing his touch after Vantage Point came out in 2008.

As this is the first time I've seen this movie, I had had some expectations, but I found this to be a considerable disappointment. I have decided to give this movie one star... Yes, that's right... one star... this is the lowest official rating I have given for a film and to be perfectly honest... I'm starting to think the film Michael, starring John Travolta was a far better film than this... And even for me that's a bit of a stretch... Legion is a hundred minutes of my life that I will never get back...

The Expendables

Running Time: 103 minutes.
Media: DVD.

Now, when you tend to see this many names in the one billing, your mind starts wandering; and you yourself start wondering how they're gonna give each of these people as much screen time as possible... For that matter, with something as nigh-ridiculous as an A-grade movie which seems to push the boundaries of a B-grade movie, such as what The Expendables proves to be, you wonder how this movie actually managed to rake in over $US 274 million.

I'll tell you how... it's a action-filled kill-fest, filled with top-billing stars. Combine this with a few B-grade actors and a somewhat plausible, and however, predictable plotline, and you've got the movie I'm currently watching now...

The action, bullets, knives and digital blood are non-stop in this film... I wish I could say the same for the seriousness of the film... The film manages to contain, in order, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Eric Roberts; without the cup overflowing in testosterone. As fantastic as that is there are a few points that I have to make... Sylvester Stallone's acting proves to be as wooden as his face. I don't think I saw any actual emotion on him throughout the entire film; if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's suffering from partial palsy. Jason Statham, Terry Crews and Randy Couture always seems angry and bitter... And Dolph Lundgren... Geez, did anyone know of a film that he's been in before this? Ever? The Masters of the Universe perhaps?

There's some redeeming features to this film, Mickey Rourke actually acts in this film; there's a quite poignant moment where Rourke, who plays the role of "Tool", a former Expendable, actually steals the scene with a monologue about Bosnia. Jet Li, who is more action than he is words does what he does best - deliver punch after kick, after punch, after kick. There's also the inclusion of the ever lovely Charisma Carpenter, who used to play Cordelia in the Buffy TV series. Eric Roberts does what he does best, talk down to everyone and smirk, not that that's a bad thing... it seems he does that in every film he's in, so I've taken that as a given with this film. And I couldn't resist adding a "'Cause Stone Cold says so!" every time Steve Austin said a line!

However, these "redeeming" qualities aren't quite enough to save The Expendables from getting top billing from me. the plot has as much weight as bag full of air. I'm even more surprised  that it's going into sequel mode later this year, with the addition of Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme... Can this sequel possibly work and not cause cinemas to explode from the sheer raw manpower? Given the nature of the cast members involved they should maybe consider renaming the sequel "The Expirables" for their lack of presence in Hollywood of late... Or "The Expandables" in relation to the girth of some of the actors who haven't kept fit of late... Who knows... Considering that Stallone both directs and produces this film still redeems it somewhat. Meantime, The Expendables gets three stars from the Movie Madman.

Eat Pray Love

Running Time: 133 minutes.
Media: Blu-Ray.

I saw this film yesterday on Blu-Ray disc, thinking it would be some soppy love story, and to a degree I was right. I did have to bear in mind that the movie was based on memoirs by Liz Gilbert by the same name, of which I hadn't read, but my partner had... She saw the film with me and said there were a few discrepancies between the book and the film, but these discrepancies are not the focus for this review...

While Julia's portrayal of Gilbert is fantastic, I couldn't help but feel that those who produced it tried too hard to market it as a comedy-drama... While there were a few amusing scenes within the film, the storyline itself gave little of the comedy and more of the drama, which really kinda kicked off towards the end of Gilbert's year long quest for self-discovery throughout Italy, where she stuffs herself with eggplant parmigiana and pappardelle with rabbit ragout; India, where we see her do more arguing with a guy called Richard from Texas than she does attaining inner peace; and Bali, where she tries to find some inner balance within herself regarding having left her previous life, a marriage, and a rebound relationship; and falls in love with a Brazilian guy called Felipe...

Felipe, played by a Spaniard, Javier Bardem, took a fair amount of brunt from reviewers such as myself saying that he was a poor choice because his Portuguese was poor... I'd like to come to the defense of the film here by saying that if they wanted to have Mr. Bardem speaking more Portuguese they would have done so, but from what I saw only a few lines were spoken of the language and more focus was given on the Italian side, where Julia Roberts seemed to excel incredibly well with her incredible accent. Speaking from somebody whose nationality stems partially from Naples, she did an incredibly good job.

I feel that although it is a bit soppy in the end with the "spurned love proclamation and reconciliation" cliché, I still found this a great film... The India part of the film I think fell a little flat... But I feel I may have to ask my better half for the book so that I can read it for greater insight to the film. In the meantime, this film gets four stars.

Sharktopus

Running Time: 89 minutes.
Media: Video file.

Yes, you're not imagining things... The name of the movie is "SHARKTOPUS"... I'm laughing as I write this... This is by far the most insane movie I've seen in my film review career... I'm actually forcing myself to watch this due to the fact I was intrigued by the name, the cover and the B-grade movie cheesy goodness that this movie seems to ooze more than an overloaded quesadilla...

In a record time, a sci-fi film has relayed the plot; a genetically designed hybrid, part-shark part-octopus, has just accidentally got itself released during a military demonstration near Santa Monica, and is now gobbling up locals at the quaint beach township of Puerto Vallarta. And it's up to a number of B-grade actors with less talent than the entire cast of "Saved by the Bell", to bring the creature down... This film is headed by none other than B-Grade extraordinaire, Eric Roberts... brother of Julia Roberts, the talented sibling of the two... He seems to be the only actor in this film that I'm vaguely aware of, let alone, the only actor who seems to be near-believeable in his acting... Everyone else, just makes me want to face-palm and go "WTF??"

With plenty of hilarious scenes where badly-acting beach-goers get chomped up by our title character, and more shots of women's cleavage; this film makes you keep scratching your head in disbelief. Whether you're trying to figure out where the plot is headed or how this film actually made it into production and onto the Syfy channel, and then onto DVD... or how one can sit through 89 minutes of sheer and not get lobotomized by the cheap acting, this movie was probably the craziest choice I ever made in what to review... and I will regret the hour-and-a-half I've lost that I will never get back... However, due to the "B-grade factor" and how ridiculously hilarious this movie is, I'm willing to give it 1½... actually, make it 2 stars... for a film that was low budget (like most Syfy original films are), but has the amazing ability to keep you watching... like a bad car accident... you don't want to stare but you can't look away... Be wary though, producer Roger Corman says he'd love to make a sequel to this film... Eek!

Though in retrospect, I'd probably recommend that you don't watch it unless you have 90 minutes to kill and a few ounces of brain cells you no longer need. On second thought, abandon seeing the film, and buy a six-pack of beer and kill the brain cells with that... at least you won't have any regrets afterwards...

Knight and Day

Running Time: 109 minutes.
Media: Blu-Ray

I took a look at Knight and Day on Blu-ray recently... and could not tear my eyes away from the screen. The one thing that stood out for me was the amount of non-stop action that occurred from beginning to end in between the few "quieter" moments within the film. This is what, in my personal opinion would have occurred if you took the elements of suspense and action in the three Mission: Impossible movies (not counting the most recent one, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, which I'll review in about a week's time after I've take the time to see it...) thrown in a bit of the kind of unexpected romance factor that you would have seen in films like Romancing the Stone or Jewel of the Nile and given it a good shake...

I wasn't disappointed. Despite the script having been re-written a number of times during its development, Knight and Day plays out so well I was glued to the seat. Cruise plays Roy Miller, a CIA agent, believed to have gone rogue; whose erratic behavior and almost outlandish cowboy nature makes car mechanic June Havens freak out as his involvement in her life has thrown it completely out of whack... Tom Cruise, having been previously categorized as a bit of a whack-job by the general public from around the time that he appeared on that episode of Oprah where he jumps on the couch; seems to have played on this publicity and kicked it into high gear by drawing upon this, as well as his roles as Ethan Hunt in the Mission: Impossible movies and produced a character which is two parts James Bond to three parts sociopath and nine parts f[CENSORED]king hilarious.

Cameron Diaz shines as the slightly neurotic and radiant June, who ends up diving into the world of espionage like she's a natural... with a few hiccups along the way. I would love for there to be a sequel of this... But even if there wasn't, this film would still receive the 5 star rating I'm giving it now.

Sherlock - Series One (TV Series on DVD)

Being a huge Sherlock Holmes fan and having seen my fair share of Sherlock Holmes movies, TV shows and whatnot; to hear that there would be a more up-to-date version coming to TV seemed a little bit of a stretch... I mean, how could you modernize a classic like the stories of Sherlock Holmes?

Amazingly enough, the series, created by the BBC, does it incredibly well. Co-written by Mark Gatiss, one of the co-stars of the series and also one of the writers of the Doctor Who series, the show incorporates very creative interpretations of the original Sherlockian canon of stories.

The first series involves only three episodes, A Study in Pink, The Blind Banker and also The Great Game. The first, revolves at first around how both Holmes and Watson meet and their familiarizing themselves with one another; whilst also solving a case involving the deaths of a number of supposed suicide victims. The other two episodes revolve around a smuggling ring and a race against time to save innocents from being blown up, leading to the final conclusion where we see the cliffhanger moment by which the series leaves us, baiting the audience to wanting more.

Benedict Cumberbatch seems quite young but holds his own as the self-titled lead, with an air that speaks volumes. Cumberbatch in his mannerisms and attitude cries out "Sherlock Holmes" in so many ways you literally get sucked into this world where the essence of Holmes actually resides in a thrity-something year-old man in the twenty-first century. Sherlock (it seems that both Holmes and Watson now refer to each other by their first names) displays a very Asperger-esque manner by which he works his way through one clue to the next. Martin Freeman, a seasoned actor, shows his strength as the war-ravaged and sometimes comical Doctor John Watson.

For a DVD series, I'm eagerly awaiting the release of the second series on TV and hoping the DVDs come out as quickly. By far, a brilliant piece of work, even though at times it does detract from the original stories. This series will be receiving 4½ stars, and I hope series two receives the same.