Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

Duration: 116 minutes.

Media: Blu-Ray.

I only just noticed that this movie came out in 2007, and my immediate reaction was "S[CENSORED]t, has it really been that long!?" I never thought that this movie has been around for a good six years, so I guess the real question begs, what's taken me so damn long to see this movie?

To be honest, time and opportunity to watch this without my wife, as she is prone to getting grossed out with movies such as this. Various incarnations of Sweeney Todd have inundated us from days of old, and they all have one thing in common... blood, blood and more blood... oh, and pies... I have to admit, since watching this movie I have been very hesitant to tuck into the Aussie fave, the honorable meat pie, lest I find a severed toe or finger in it.

This movie is no exception, what with the darkness that only a, what I like to call a "Deppton" collaboration, can provide. The Tim Burton/Johnny Depp dynamic seems to pop up every so often with the occasional addition of Helena Bonham Carter thrown into the mix. Everytime Deppton make a film, there seems to be a bit of a random effect as to how well it goes...

I will quote Rotten Tomatoes' overall film ratings for the benefit of this example.

• Edward Scissorhands (1990) - The first Deppton collaboration, a somewhat dark movie, 7.6/10;
• Ed Wood (1994) - considerably dark and quite hilarious, 8/10;
• Sleepy Hollow (1999) - and hey, what do you know, it's rather dark as well, 6.3/10;
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) - a dark version of the original 1971 film (are you seeing a general pattern here?), 7.2/10. By this time, Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton had been together for about four years and this was the trio's first group collaboration, a "Deppton Carter" film;
• Corpse Bride (2005) - Let's face it, they're all dark... Another "Deppton Carter" collaboration that scored 7.2/10;
• Sweeney Todd (2007), our titular movie in question, yet another "Deppton Carter" film, rated 7.7/10; 
• Alice in Wonderland (2010), another "Deppton Carter", but this one rated 5.7/10; and finally
• Dark Shadows (2012), which surprisingly was another "Deppton Carter", fared worse at 5.3/10;

All Burton's collaborations with Johnny Depp have been fairly considerable but have waned past Sweeney Todd, and I'm not sure why to be honest... I think it was more that there were considerable risks with projects that have had... a previous past that were in themselves, an acquired taste. Sleepy Hollow, inspired by the legend of the Headless Horseman, was a short story, and the film was a fairly broad extrapolation from that. Alice in Wonderland was meant to be a sequel to the story, inspired by the original story and Through the Looking Glass, which is also an acquired taste - I mean, even my wife hates the story, much to my surprise. Dark Shadows was inspired from the original 1960's and 1990's TV series of the same name, also acquired tastes. One guesses that the reason these three weren't as strong is because hard core fans of these movies went there with high expectations and were bitterly disappointed and that the critics themselves placed similar expectations on what to expect in these films and marked them down accordingly.

Bearing this in mind, what is it about Sweeney Todd that pushes the ratings to being one of the highest rating films out of the eight or so that Tim Burton has worked on with Johnny Depp?

Well, for starters there is the Johnny Depp factor, he's a handsome chap... though have you seen him lately? He's kinda started looking like Mickey Rourke... But nevertheless, still a handsome chap...

It's a musical, this gets some points. Musicals always seem to have a way of getting interest from the general populous. Look at High School Musical, Hairspray and the most recent incarnation of Les Miserables. They all raked in big... although it kinda helps when you have leading men in these movies like Zac Efron and... Zac Efron (I only just realized he was in Hairspray too... and Hugh Jackman...

But I think the most captivating and attractive factor in this film, would have to be the blood and gore. It's something that seems to draw us in... Like it or hate it, the horror factor (despite it being in overly-abundant bucketfuls, sometimes quite literally) seems to have this raw appeal that makes you want to squirm, and yet you can't look away. In at least a dozen moments of the film, I found myself cringing in almost sheer disgust and horror, and yet, it was so... over-the-top it was hilarious. I have a tendency to treat horror films of late as though there was a comedic element within them. A guy gets his head taken clean off by a giant blade, I laugh my goddamn ass off... I guess it's more because of the overall nature of the deaths that seems rather incredulous that it deserves such a response... it's so far fetched and over-the-top and yet so... predictable but you want to see it again and again, laughing so hard that you almost wet yourself. And that's how it is with Sweeney Toidd.

So why, with this film? To give you an understanding, you need a quick synopsis of how this film plays out...

Johnny Depp plays Benjamin Barker, a barber who was wrongfully imprisoned by Judge Turpin, so that he could marry Barker's wife and raise his daughter as his own. This is the ultimate spoiled brat concept... I have no toys, so I must take someone else's... Barker returns to London, and boy is he pissed off! He wants to off the judge that had him banished, so he returns as "Sweeney Todd" a barber with a razor sharp wit, as well as a razor to match... He loses the chance to off the judge by pure chance and as a result collaborates with Mrs Lovett, played by Helena Bonham Carter, who owns the pie shop downstairs, so that he can start offing people, because in his eyes they're all deserving of it... But how to get rid of the bodies? Enter Mrs Lovett, who has found a wonderful new source of protein that makes Soylent Green look like a Snickers bar in comparison... She starts baking human flesh into her meat pies... (Nummy)

Long story short, there are a lot of deaths and twists toward the end of the film that I never foresaw... and surprisingly, it kinda appealed to me, which kinda makes me sound quite twisted and sick, but to be perfectly honest, it's a work of fiction, so who really cares? The musical numbers are peppered nicely throughout the film, and that sorta gives you a more deeper insight into the natures of the characters of Todd, Lovett, Turpin and Pirelli... The timeline is set to what is believed to be Victorian England... though it is never really implied anywhere throughout the film, and to be perfectly honest, that doesn't bother me at all...

The color scheme which is predominantly in its black-and-whites, and sepias as well as the occasional splash of red reminds me of throwbacks to say, Frank Miller's 300 or Sin City, which adopted those sorts of visual techniques to get the message across to the audience - and that is that this movie is about one thing, and one thing only. Revenge, pure and simple. Depp pushes the boundaries as the revenge-driven title character and delivers that role with such conviction that the audience feels the pain he lives with and has for the past fifteen years. You start rooting for him with every progressive throat that he slits and you pretty much find yourself cheering towards the end of the film. It's a very addictive plot device, all that blood... 

Depp as Sweeney Todd looks slightly gaunt and ambivalent of the surroundings as he focuses on his tasks at hand, namely, dispatching the lives of those, who just in general, piss off Sweeney Todd. He seems to have acquired a singing voice which is great... Not amazing, but still great... But for some reason, he still sounds a lot like Captain Jack Sparrow, less complicated hair and he was... focused more than anything, whereas Sparrow was more laisser faire. The gaunt and pale face make up on Depp is great, though I am having trouble understanding the huge gash of white hair that seems like a throwback to Anna Paquin's character of Rogue in the X-Men movie franchise. nevertheless, it suits him... All these dark movies that Deppton do together seem to work in his favor for the most of it... I could see him playing the part of an aging rock star. His singing voice isn't too bad either.

Helena Bonham Carter... I know she's Tim Burton's partner and all, and she does add a bit more humor, but she always tends to look like she could do with a few Big Mac McValue meals. As Mrs Lovett, her intentions are endearing but misplaced, looking to have a wonderful life with Sweeney Todd despite her baking people into pastries. I have to confess though, after seeing her in the Harry Potter movies as Bellatrix Lestrange, every time now that I see her in a film that's "dark" she seems like she's playing the role of a corpse. Given that she played the title role in Corpse Bride, it seems rather befitting, but the stereotype with Bonham Carter and roles that make her look like she's post-mortem seems to have stuck. This isn't Bonham Carter's fault in any way... I blame very good make-up in this case... and scriptwriting, and hey, if you're good at what you can do, by all means go for it... Nevertheless, she plays the part of Lovett well, rather comically in places which suits the role of Lovett as it did in the stage productions.

I also have to give kudos to Alan Rickman who plays the part of Judge Turpin rather well, a bit of a send up of the alluded corruption of Victorian justice back then. Note that Bonham Carter, Rickman and Timothy Spall (who stars as Beadle Bamford) all played roles in the Harry Potter movies, they can't seem to get enough of one another, can they? Rickman always seems to be stereotyped into roles as a bad guy time and time again, in a way that's a shame, but at the same time, that's also great. Turpin is a bit on the sick side, supposedly taking a leaf from Woody Allen's book and trying to marry his ward. If you think that's the most disgusting thing in Sweeney Todd, however, throat-cutting and baking people into pies aside, then maybe you may need to seek professional help.

Sacha Baron Cohen however, who plays Adolfo Pirelli, is a somewhat of a surprise... he does the same thing as he does with Monsieur Thenadier in Les Miserables, steal the stage... I personally feel he loves the musical roles inasmuch if not more than the non-musical roles, as he gets to be a little more serious, and that seems quite admirable. So it's a shame that he dropped out of the Freddie Mercury bio-pic project in July 2013, over "creative differences" between him and the surviving members of Queen, because I think he would have made the role his own, in the same way that Hugh Jackman has done with Wolverine.

Saying that, this movie is quite enjoyable, given the blood and gore that the movie brings. It made me cringe, rather receptively, and I strangely hope to see it again in the near future. Sweeney Todd get two thumbs up (which are not found in any pies quite luckily) and receives 4½ stars... Now I feel hungry for a Four 'N' Twenty pie for some strange reason...

Argo (2012)

Running Time: 120 minutes

Media: DVD

There are very few Ben Affleck movies I dislike, I think Ben is a reasonable actor and he does fairly well. He's made mistakes along the way and he seems to have gotten himself a decent momentum with which to forge on. Argo is no exception, it's a film I did enjoy, and seeing it was based on real life events, I wanted to find out more.

So I took it upon myself to go to Wikipedia and check out details of the Canadian Caper and I was intrigued... There was even an illustrated children's book about the event called Escapes! Now while there were there already was a TV film made back in 1981, based on the original cover story (i.e. "the Canadians saved the day") Argo is based on the true events, namely, that the CIA were responsible for the cover story and development of a fake film studio and fake press releases and fake this and fake that, just to provide a definite background story to prove to the Iranians that the six escaped staff from the U.S. embassy were actually six Canadian film crew members getting locations for the film. Basically the CIA used some serious bull[CENSORED]t in order to complete their mission. And boy, did it pay off!

This two-hour movie has a strange property, it makes you feel like you're watching a documentary that's only half the size. The events that led to the seizure of the United States embassy in Tehran seemed somewhat minimal in length, and the process of the set up of this Canadian film crew cover story took some considerable time to be put into effect, but once that was done, from the moment Affleck's character of Tony Mendez touches down in Tehran, the rest of the movie seems to disappear in the blink of an eye.

Interesting thing about the events that transpired in 1979-1980 which were the inspiration for this movie; when the Canadian Embassy became hosts to the six refugees from the now seized US Embassy, the Canadian Government started the ball rolling by getting six fake passports ready, complete with fake identities ready to be sent through to them. The only thing is, they lacked the resources to pull it off. Enter Tony Mendez and the creation of the fake film studio, press releases, etc. with thanks to the CIA, and it all came together...

So, is it convincing? Yes... And yet no... Here's the thing, just like the pretext of the movie within the movie, Hollywood has a way with artistic license. I took the liberty of reading more into the events of the Canadian Caper and they're actually quite dull... In a way it's no surprise that they decided to add extra bits to jazz it up. By doing so, the historical inaccuracies have been criticized considerably and have resulted in a few disgruntled critics bad mouthing the film despite the various awards won by this film.

I'll be blunt here; I did like the film, even though the film kinda smacks of the old Mission: Impossible TV series of 1969-1973... Given that the events took place some seven years after the TV series finished, the analogy kinda fits like a comfy old pair of gloves. I have to admit though, that the number of "Hollywood" thriller clichés within the film kinda added to the effect of the film. According to the Rotten Tomatoes, 96% of critics gave a positive review for this film... So why people keep pummeling these movies based on real life events puzzles me... I mean, why didn't they pummel Titanic or Men of Honor or Apollo 13 just as equally? 

I think the whole point of Hollywood is to add a layer of glamor to everything it touches, just like within Argo and its fake film counterpart. And that's what makes this movie work on so many levels... Even though there are various clichés that permeate the film. There's the doubting people to be rescue; the rescue plan that's so crazy that it may just work despite the lack of confidence by everyone involved; the near-capture scene; the quick thinking actions of one of the people to be rescued (who conveniently speaks fluent Farsi like a native) and the protagonist's right-hand man who seems to stop at nothing to help his friend in need...

Cringeworthy as each of these clichés seems to be, I think a number of us have grown rather accustomed to them being present in films such as this. The funny thing is, during the film they're not as noticeable as they are in retrospect. I guess the convenient Farsi speaking embassy worker cliché kinda haunts me a little but otherwise I'm okay with it...

Ben Affleck, he starred, directed and produced this film... He's done pretty well, I think, with George Clooney also sharing production rights along with Grant Heslov, who was also responsible for The Men Who Stare At Goats... I think he's made an exceptional performance as exfiltration specialist Tony Mendez. What made Affleck so believable in this film was that he didn't bring an overconfident, cocky and expert-of-everything character to the screen. Tony Mendez in this film was a vulnerable man; separated from his wife and son, self-doubting at times and has a genuine demeanor about him that doesn't feel it's forced.

You then have Bryan Cranston, who has been one busy man. Amid starring in seasons of Breaking Bad, and fourteen movies over 2010 to 2012, Cranston's character of Jack O'Donnell is bold and determined which is a credit to his acting stamina... I honestly don't know how he does it to be honest...

John Goodman as John Chambers, a perfect fit. Both Johns were big men and Goodman must have studied his namesake very carefully as I had difficulty seeing anything but Chambers on the screen. I know Goodman has been selective of late choosing his roles but I got to hand it to him, he's done well with this role.

Finally Alan Arkin, one of the first films I saw him in was the 1968 film Inspector Clouseau... A spin-off film from the Pink Panther series... I haven't seen him in much else of late, save for "Get Smart", but like Goodman, Arkin doesn't hammer out films like Affleck and Cranston do... He too is selective, and in his case his roles are more a subject of quality than quantity. Nevertheless, his portrayal of Lester Siegel was remarkable... Arkin's cynicism and candor come out strong in Siegel in aiding Mendez to get the script for the mission, in fact, it stays with you for the length of the film... But not in a bad way. Arkin's good at what he does, he adds a little wit to help quell the tension within the film, as he seems to do.

The film, all in all, was quite enjoyable and I'd watch it again... My only regret is that Hollywood, in the name of making it a great film, took an interesting story, and added more Hollywood to it to make it worthy of screening... Sort of like the film cliché where the girl who is the ugly duckling gets made over so that she'd fit in with the rest of society... Given that, I'm happy to award 4½ stars to Argo.

Starship Troopers

Running Time: 129 minutes.

Media: Digital Download.

Wikipedia lists this movie as "a military science fiction thriller film"... Well, two out of three ain't bad, Wikipedia... It certainly has military elements, and it certainly has a very strong sci-fi feel to it... But for it to be classed as a thriller? I think the authors of this article of this film need to re-think their categorization skills!

I'm going to skip the main critique for a moment and go straight to the rating side of this review... I've given this movie 3½ stars... Why? Because in my opinion it's only a half-decent film... But it's not a decent one, I'll tell you that much... The acting is somewhat wooden, the actors a little more so, and the script is a little... something in the middle between "hilarious" and "pathetic"... I don't think there is a word, but if there was it would be something between these two extremes...

This film is set in the not-too-distant future, and we see our three main characters played by Casper Van Dien; the former Mrs Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards; and the former Doogie Howser, MD, Neil Patrick Harris who are located in a Buenos Aires high school, in a world which is in war with a world filled with large hostile insect-like aliens called Arachnids, or known better to the general population as "bugs"; and citizenship is a privilege, earned by serving in the military forces. Johnny Rico, played by Van Dien, signs up for the military to stay close to Carmen, played by Richards, who has signed up as a pilot. Their friend, Carl Jenkins, played by Harris joins up with the Military Intelligence group... There's also a redhead by the name of Dizzy Flores , played by Dina Meyer who in a way kinda stalks Rico by joining the military along with him... Ah, unrequited love...

The movie is sprinkled with a number of recognizable actors here and there, inclusive of Jake Busey (who has kinda grown up since his "stoner"-persona days), Clancy Brown (who may be recognizable as Victor Kurgan, from Highlander, as well as his voicing Lex Luthor in a number of Warner Bros/DC Comics animations), and Michael Ironside (who is well known for a number of "tough guy" roles, as well as his voice-acting as Darkseid in Superman: The Animated Series)... Beyond this, the movie has a number of scenes that are so hammy it will make a devout Jew say it's non-kosher...

There are a few saving graces, one which involves some partial nudity on the part of Dina Meyer... and also some rather poignant areas along the film where Michael Ironside says something profound... everything else seems a little over the top and over-done... I don't wish to stray from my 3½ star rating, and I won't... it's corny, but it has somehow developed into a bit of a cult-classic... The "so bad it's good defense", and so to rate it any less would take away from that... But to rate it any higher would give rise to calls that I have rated it higher than it deserves... And those that would say that would be correct... If I awarded it three stars, I would have to justify it... I'm choosing not to rate it any higher. Starship Troopers amazingly spawned two sequels... neither of which I have seen, but when I do, it will hopefully garner higher ratings than those that I have given to this movie.

I Am Legend

Running Time: 100 minutes

Media: DVD

I Am Legend is the third book-to-movie conversion of the novel of the same name, this version starring Will Smith and for a very brief period, Emma Thompson...

We're set in a post apocalyptic New York City in 2012... Some three years prior, Emma Thompson in the form of Dr. Alice Krippin has created a "cure for cancer", or so we believe... it seems this cure mutated and has an ability to turn people into predatory, vampiristic beings referred to as "Darkseekers" who prey on those immune to the virus.

One such immune person is Will Smith's character, Dr (and Colonel) Robert Neville, a military virologist... who is one of the only few (if not the only) human survivors in New York City in 2012. He scours the city with his dog Samantha, looking for survivors, hunting deer and looking for suitable Darkseekers to experiment on in order to find a cure for those infected by the Krippin virus.

The isolation that the film portrays with Neville wondering an apocalyptic and decrepit New York City with his only companion, a German Shepard called Samantha; is eerie, uncomfortable and somewhat disorienting to the audience... I think, this is only because we never consider the possibility of being so isolated... and I feel Francis Lawrence, who directs this, has really hit a home run with this in-your-face kind of film... Most post-apocalyptic films tend to have a sense of almost near comedy the way the infected characters the living  run away from, amble about... Not so here... these Darkseekers are not necessarily mindless creatures, they possess a structure, a sense of intellect, and to a degree you do feel some sort of compassion for them... You also find yourself wanting to reach out to Dr. Neville, whose saga is peppered with flashbacks and his momentary episodes of near-emotional breakdown make you realize Neville is not superhuman, only human.

This movie kinda hits a bit of an anti-climax after the introduction of Alice Braga who saves his life at one point in the movie... and goes downhill from there, albeit slowly... and although the movie ends in a way that does give it some reprieve, the movie is spoiled by a few moments from this particular point, including one point which involves a critical emotional release in relation to bacon - pay attention, as this moment goes fairly quick if you don't; those that love bacon will understand my distress, funny as it is. I still enjoyed this film, however, and despite the few points I've mentioned above, the film I Am Legend gets awarded four stars.

Timecop

Running Time: 98 minutes.

Media: File Download.

I don't know why I did this... I must have been either out of my mind, drunk, or maybe I was high... possibly all three... But I took the liberty of watching this film when I had very little to do with my time a few weeks ago... when I had an hour and a half as well as a few million brain cells to kill.

Unless you're a Jean-Claude Van Damme enthusiast... anyone telling you that they saw a Jean-Claude Van Damme film will think you would have have better spent your time doing more liberating and productive things like taking a power drill to your skull. And predictably, Timecop is no exception.

The idea of time-travel films is one that is meant to provide a sense of entertainment and wonder, and getting somewhat confused trying to follow the differing timelines and how they interact with one another... Timecop is a little bit different... you are entertained by the somewhat horrible attempt of Jean-Claude mastering English, and entertained by the suspension of belief a viewer must have that someone with his accent can have the name of Max Walker... For those playing at home, the real Max Walker is a cricketing icon, and while both are equally as annoying as one another... at least I know that at least I know the cricketer is a lot more believable than Van Damme's character. You are provided with a sense of wonder, but only in the sense of wondering how the film could still have amassed over $45 million in the US during its box office release given how hokey it is... and the only confusion one seems get is trying to follow the plot: Time-travel discovered, Jean-Claude chases a few crooks through time, comes back, things have changed, travels back in time, and makes everything right again... The Back to the Future trilogy did a better job of this some nine years prior, with their final film finishing in 1990, some four years before this film came out... I don't think the Timecop screenwriters ever took the time to see the film that practically set the bar for time-travel films... and as a result, wrote this...

This film literally had my head shaking in disbelief... Mia Sara who kinda steals the show a bit ended up starring in a time-travel based series called Time Trax also involving a time-traveling cop back in 1993... To be honest, she wasn't moving up in the world when she did this film, she did in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but Timecop certainly wasn't a step in the right direction for her... One could say that any movie Jean-Claude has starred in was also not a step in the right direction for him... One can only wait and see what the sequel for The Expendables will be like with him starring in it, maybe this will be the kind of break he needs...

In the meantime, Timecop with all its... hokey-ness, gets a a two-star rating and no more... Not unless I want to die a slow and painful death, I already started that with watching this particular movie...

Jaws

Running Time: 124 minutes.

Media: DVD.

This was made the year before I was born... And who would have thought that a movie slightly older than the Movie Madman would still shock him enough to still have a fear of open water... I kid you not, it is partially due to Jaws that I hate going into the open water... swimming pools, not too bad; the bathtub, no problem... Bondi Beach, jet-skiing, rubber dinghies... hell no!

On the lighter side of things, Jaws, which has been cited as one of the greatest movies of all time is still a bloody great movie... A fantastic soundtrack (including one very enthusiastic cellist who obviously relished the opportunity to put his abilities to the ultimate test and make themselves immortal!)

So where do we begin? We have the quiet little town of Amity Island, whose police chief Martin Brody becomes involved in a series of not-so-quiet series of shark attacks... He joins forces with Robert Shaw, who plays professional shark hunter Quint, and marine biologist Matthew Hooper, played by a bearded Richard Dreyfuss to hunt down the mammoth of a great white shark that's decided that Amity Island is their idea of a summer smorgasbord... 

I won't give too much of the plot away, as I'm not one for spoilers, but given that there were three sequels made to the original film, which ultimately kinda went in a downhill direction, (and I will prove this statement in later reviews when I can get around to viewing these sequels) that it's safe to say that more shark hijinks are set to be seen as the sequels progress!

Enthusiasts of the book Moby Dick will appreciate some peculiar similarities with respect to Quint and his literary counterpart of Captain Ahab, which pepper themselves throughout the movie. There is also the notable theme of the political imbecile that doesn't want to endanger the town's economic health and so lets things continue to escalate until it's almost too late... I hate these token characters as they are so formulaic that I could solve them for x, the unknown quantity... Well, I can't call it an unknown quantity... in the case of such token political comedy relief characters, it's sheer ignorance and stupidity... this is by no means a fault of the writers, it's something that's essential to carry the storyline through to its inevitable conclusion and when you think about it, if these political characters didn't act the way they did, the story would be cut dramatically short... 

Observe, this is by no means the actual plot, so no spoilers here, folks:

Hero: There's sharks attacking people, we need to close the beaches to stop more people getting killed.

Politician: You're absolutely right, close the beaches, we need to think about the townspeople.

[Hero closes beach, everyone lives, movie ends 75 minutes prematurely ]

Like I said, these political imbecile token characters are a necessary evil, but it is these same characters that make us want to throw a shoe at the TV screen in the vain hope that it will scone the idiot on the head... What can I say? This aside, the effects are fantastic, including the final scene, which I cannot divulge (even though most people will see it coming!), the acting is fairly spot-on for the kind of movie that it is, and it is for this reason I am awarding Jaws 4½ stars...

Legion

Running Time: 100 minutes.

Media: DVD.

This film, I must admit is a bit of a mind-f[CENSORED]k to a degree... Let me be honest here, we're dealing with an angel, Michael, the archangel, no less, who falls to Earth, cuts his wings off and tries to stop an apocalypse of epic proportions and save the cigarette-smoking mother-to-be of what is to be the savior of mankind.

Paul Bettany comes across as the very serious, and very well-armed archangel Michael; with Kevin Durand (known for his role as Fred J. Dukes, aka Blob from X-Men Origins: Wolverine) as the archangel Gabriel, Michael's "nemesis". Other old-school actors like Dennis Quaid, Charles S. Dutton, Tyrese Gibson, and Kate Walsh join the cast as well as a number of unknowns including some weird-ass old lady who likes to crawl up ceilings, and an ice-cream truck driver who makes the Frankenstein monster seem tame by comparison...

Movie review websites Rotten Tomatoes, Dread Central and BloodyDisgusting.com all gave reviews for this film with ratings between 10-20% and to be perfectly honest, I can see why.. This film is kinda pathetic, it's an apocalypse supernatural thriller film thinly disguised to be a serious apocalypse supernatural thriller. There's supposed deep and meaningful moments that contrast heavily amongst the somewhat bad acting that make the actors on Saved by the Bell seem like Emmy Award-winning actors. Durand, for some reason sounds too poetic and softly spoken in this film... Quaid's performance is wooden, and I'm starting to think he's been losing his touch after Vantage Point came out in 2008.

As this is the first time I've seen this movie, I had had some expectations, but I found this to be a considerable disappointment. I have decided to give this movie one star... Yes, that's right... one star... this is the lowest official rating I have given for a film and to be perfectly honest... I'm starting to think the film Michael, starring John Travolta was a far better film than this... And even for me that's a bit of a stretch... Legion is a hundred minutes of my life that I will never get back...

Safe House (2012)

Running Time: 117 minutes.

Media: Cinematic screening.

A few weeks ago I had the incredible opportunity of watching this movie with my girlfriend in the Gold Class cinemas at Castle Hill's Event Cinema Megaplex. This wasn't my first time in Gold Class, but bearing in mind that my first film I saw at Gold Class was James Cameron's Avatar, which was a whopping 171 minutes, and in 3D I didn't have much time to truly investigate the environment I was to watch this film.

The food was excellent and was served promptly... The shredded pork nachos was to die for... as well as their "Dynamite Squid"... I enjoyed these on chairs that I never knew until recently were capable of reclining! Why didn't I know this in my first trip back in 2009??

Anyhow, I digress... I'll probably put in a post some time later about cinemas and the like, but for the mean time, it's back to the review! Safe House, geez.. I came out of this blown away by the incredible "BAM!" factor that kept repeating itself over and over and over again... Surprisingly, you don't get bored of this, because you keep anticipating when it's gonna happen, and you miss it... and then as soon as your guard lowers, "BAM!" - they hit you again! I think I experienced this in at least five separate moments throughout the film, as I lost count after that. Ryan Reynolds plays his part well as a low-level CIA agent, Matthew Weston, who acts as a "housekeeper", an agent who maintains a safe house in South Africa. Along comes a convoy of agents, who with Denzel Washington, who plays ex-CIA agent (now turned rogue), Tobin Frost, become the target of a group of assassins. Both Frost and Weston escape, part ways, re-unite, ad nauseum; but with multiple action sequences in between...

Suffice it to say, you are NEVER gonna be bored with this one. Denzel, regardless of his character, regardless of which film he stars in, is always is cool and calm... That's just Denzel... Ryan on the other hand, could very well be our next brand of action hero; always thinking on his feet and thorough. I will confess, in the Ryan side of things... this film craps all over Green Lantern. I'm sorry, Ryan... a lot of people crapped on that film a lot... I do like Green Lantern, but Safe House is far better.

I have one teeny, tiny little problem with this film... and it's not my fault, let alone theirs... well, okay, maybe it is their fault, a bit... The film falls flat in one area, and that is with the incorporation of a character called "Ana Moreau", played by actress and singer Nora Arnezeder... I found her character flat and dimensionless, and to be perfectly honest, it seems she was added into the screenplay to pad it a little and to give the character of Weston a little more emotional depth... I personally feel that the movie would have worked just as well without her and that while her being in this film did allow the movie to end on a more peaceful note, the writers did not even do so well in that either. As a result, I can't give Safe House the five-star rating it deserves.

Regardless of this, the film, featuring twists you could never see coming, as well as an incredible panorama of the culture and life of South Africa, where this movie was filmed; Safe House, receives 4½ stars.

Source Code

Wikipedia listed this as a "science fiction/techno-thriller"... As the concept of a "techno-thriller" is hard to define, I'll settle for "science fiction/thriller". For what Source Code is able to pull off in 93 minutes is astounding, and with a little bit of shock value and some tear-jerking moments towards the end has already given me reason enough to reach for the 5 star rating.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays the part of Captain Colter Stevens who after a mission in Afghanistan wakes up to find himself in the body of some other guy on a moving train opposite Michelle Monaghan. Personally, the idea of waking up facing Michelle Monaghan has become the subject of a few dreams myself over the last few days since watching this film, but I digress. Stevens finds that he appears to everyone, and including himself in his own reflection, that he is Sean Fentress, a history teacher. Once he's come to terms with this unusual setting of events, the train blows up.

Colter then finds himself in a specialized cockpit which is part of the Source Code project, where he has the ability to basically travel back in time for eight minutes in the body of another being; over and over and over again. His mission, find out how the train blew up, who blew it up and why, and with what, etc., and prevent another potential dirty bomb from detonating. We find Gyllenhaal being re-inserted into the Source Code over and over and over until the very end. This movie is a mix of the Quantum Leap TV series, which I currently own in its entirety (yes, big time travel nut here) and 12:01, a movie that's not particularly well known, that involves a time-loop...

Now, one thing I noticed when I was watching the movie was hearing the voice of Colter Stevens' father, played by Scott Bakula... I nearly fell out of my chair in delight... Reason being? Scott Bakula's character in Quantum Leap, was that of Dr Sam Beckett, a man who kept leaping through time and whose consciousness popped into particular people's bodies; rather much like Colter Stevens did here! It's a nice little homage to Quantum Leap fans who would pick up on this little Easter egg within the film itself.

I've given this film 5 stars for originality and clever use of time travel concepts, and also for the little well-related cameo!

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2009)

Running Time: 152 minutes.
Media: DVD.

The book on which this movie is based, has but of course, become the next thing since the Harry Potter series and the Twilight Saga. Stieg Larsson brings his characters to life in the Millenium series, the first, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, is a best-seller. It seems every second person is reading this book... The Movie Madman has only just finished it last week, and is soon to follow it up with reading the sequel, The Girl Who Played with Fire.

But the real question is, how well does The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo translate onto the silver screen? I missed out on seeing this in the cinema and so I've had to resort to watching it on DVD. So I'll give you the best review I can.

One thing you'll come to notice is that this movie is in Swedish, and with English subtitles, so one thing I've come to learn is that you are continuously looking at the subtitles, as if watching a foreign movie on SBS. This can get annoying if, unlike myself, you are not used to having to read a movie. The title itself "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" isn't even the actual translation for the Swedish title "Män Som Hatar Kvinnor" which translates to "Men Who Hate Women"; which kinda gives you a bit of an idea of how dark this story can actually become, and considering the movie features much more graphic and somewhat violent scenarios, the book seems a little lean in comparison. Having read the book recently, I've always been curious to see how well the book translates into film. Accordingly, I tend to have somewhat high expectations of such book-to-movie transitions. I have to confess, even some fifty minutes in, the movie does adhere considerably to the storyline, with a few minor alterations to help speed the story along, but nothing that would detract from the original altogether.

Noomi Rapace stars as Lisbeth Salander, the enigmatic gothic computer security consultant; who is actually quite gorgeous, despite the black make-up and piercings. She'll actually be starring in the new Sherlock Holmes movie coming out in December alongside of Robert Downey, Jr. Mikael Blomkvist, played by Michael Nyqvist, who stars in the newest film in the Mission Impossible film franchise, Ghost Protocol, is also pretty much spot-on in his portrayal of the troubled journalist. If anything, he fits my expected interpretation of his description from the book.

This movie does come with a caveat from me, as it does contain scenes of violence and sex-related themes which may offend or upset some people. To be honest, I would highly recommend reading the book first before even considering watching the movie as I am doing now; kinda prepares you for what you end up seeing. Mind you, now having seen the movie, I now have a strange desire to eat meatballs and herring, and buy stuff from IKEA.

I personally would love to see how the American remake of this film, starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara, as Mikael and Lisbeth respectively, plays out in comparison. I'll be giving this movie 4½ stars for an excellent interpretation from print to screen.

Contagion

Running Time: 106 minutes.
Media: Cinematic Release.

Contagion was movie Number Two of my seven movie marathon on 29/10/2011. By this stage, my brother-in-law, Sam, and I were in high hopes of this being another great film, and it does achieve this, but it does leave a few holes in the end - I won't say how it does this, but this just a word of warning.

The movie is based on a touch-based virus which spreads like wildfire throughout the world and the attempts to stabilize and fight the spread of it. Steven Soderbergh has a tendency to direct fairly decent films with a great storyline and featuring a star-studded cast. Contagion is no exception to this formula of Soderbergh's.

This movie kinda smacks with Outbreak-esque tendencies but then diverges with four separate storylines that start from "Day 2" of the movie, where an unfaithful Beth Emhoff played by Gwyneth Paltrow, has a little tryst with an old flame in Chicago on her way back from Hong Kong to see her family again. She later dies some time after from unknown causes. From there a number of people around the world start exhibiting similar symptoms and start dropping like flies. A mad race to discover the cure before it takes hold of everyone capable of doing so then ensues.

Like all medical thrillers of this kind, it tends to hold off until the eleventh hour before resolution of the pandemic occurs... However, it seems like all the four storylines have had to entwine in order for this movie to work. Tying these storylines together however is a little bit of a challenge, and although Soderbergh manages to do this, it leaves you a little empty. The movie comes full circle at the end of the film as it shows the series of events that lead to "Day One", and even then it leaves you feeling just a little bit empty, like there's something missing, but you just can't place it...

Still I enjoyed this film, and I'm gonna give it 4½ stars for great effort, but I'll leave it shy of the elusive 5 star rating because it leaves a few questions unanswered.