The Expendables

Running Time: 103 minutes.
Media: DVD.

Now, when you tend to see this many names in the one billing, your mind starts wandering; and you yourself start wondering how they're gonna give each of these people as much screen time as possible... For that matter, with something as nigh-ridiculous as an A-grade movie which seems to push the boundaries of a B-grade movie, such as what The Expendables proves to be, you wonder how this movie actually managed to rake in over $US 274 million.

I'll tell you how... it's a action-filled kill-fest, filled with top-billing stars. Combine this with a few B-grade actors and a somewhat plausible, and however, predictable plotline, and you've got the movie I'm currently watching now...

The action, bullets, knives and digital blood are non-stop in this film... I wish I could say the same for the seriousness of the film... The film manages to contain, in order, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Eric Roberts; without the cup overflowing in testosterone. As fantastic as that is there are a few points that I have to make... Sylvester Stallone's acting proves to be as wooden as his face. I don't think I saw any actual emotion on him throughout the entire film; if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's suffering from partial palsy. Jason Statham, Terry Crews and Randy Couture always seems angry and bitter... And Dolph Lundgren... Geez, did anyone know of a film that he's been in before this? Ever? The Masters of the Universe perhaps?

There's some redeeming features to this film, Mickey Rourke actually acts in this film; there's a quite poignant moment where Rourke, who plays the role of "Tool", a former Expendable, actually steals the scene with a monologue about Bosnia. Jet Li, who is more action than he is words does what he does best - deliver punch after kick, after punch, after kick. There's also the inclusion of the ever lovely Charisma Carpenter, who used to play Cordelia in the Buffy TV series. Eric Roberts does what he does best, talk down to everyone and smirk, not that that's a bad thing... it seems he does that in every film he's in, so I've taken that as a given with this film. And I couldn't resist adding a "'Cause Stone Cold says so!" every time Steve Austin said a line!

However, these "redeeming" qualities aren't quite enough to save The Expendables from getting top billing from me. the plot has as much weight as bag full of air. I'm even more surprised  that it's going into sequel mode later this year, with the addition of Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme... Can this sequel possibly work and not cause cinemas to explode from the sheer raw manpower? Given the nature of the cast members involved they should maybe consider renaming the sequel "The Expirables" for their lack of presence in Hollywood of late... Or "The Expandables" in relation to the girth of some of the actors who haven't kept fit of late... Who knows... Considering that Stallone both directs and produces this film still redeems it somewhat. Meantime, The Expendables gets three stars from the Movie Madman.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Running Time: 118 minutes.
Media: DVD.

While there are no snakes to scare the bejeezus out of our pal, Dr. Indiana Jones, there's a heck of a lot going on in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, another Steven Spielberg and George Lucas combination... It seems that whenever these two powerhouses join forces, anything is possible.

After almost losing his life, twice, at the hands of crime boss Lao Che, Indy winds up in India with Willie Scott, a night-club singer (they don't have those nowadays), played by Kate Capshaw, and his young Chinese sidekick, Short Round, played by Jonathan Quan (known then as Ke Huy Quan), of whom some would recognize as "Data" from The Goonies. Kate Capshaw, for those playing at home is now Steven Spielberg's wife... 

It has been believed that Indy has been sent by the gods, and has been quested to retrieve the missing Sankara stones that helped bring peace and prosperity to the village, and also to help reunite the village with their children who were stolen from them.

All hell seems to break loose, amid a potion that turns people into mindless zombies, a demonic Thugee priest called Mola Ram, played by Amrish Puri... who still kinda scares the crap out of me... (Talk about method acting, this guy was really into his character... none of this "Hey Steve, what's my motivation here?" business... ), the mining car ride from Hell and Willie Scott's wailing... This is a great movie, with a little craziness to set you going...

The movie seems to end pleasantly enough in the end like all Indiana Jones films... I'd rate it more if it wasn't for a little thing called "predictability"... Don't get me wrong, I think Harrison does a great job, but somehow there seemed to be something missing from the film as a whole to give it that extra kick to make you realize that this isn't just an "all's well that ends well" kind of movie... Nevertheless, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom still gets four stars...

Definitely, Maybe

Running Time: 112 minutes.
Media: DVD.
 
Definitely, Maybe is one of those films that although it is a "romantic comedy" by genre, is not a romantic comedy which promises you a kind of happily ever after - and that "all your dreams are gonna come true" It's about how dreams often don't come true, and that love and marriage can end up in divorce. This is a realistic movie which really takes you on a journey with Ryan Reynolds' character, William Hayes, an advertising executive, who tells his daughter about his life before marriage and how he ended up meeting his mother and the other women that came into his life.

Abigail Breslin, who seems to be popping up almost everywhere nowadays, plays Maya, William's daughter... a very inquisitive, and fairly switched on ten year-old, who is caught up in the midst of her father's divorce and is the one who tries to work out, along with the audience, which of the three female leads, Emily (played by Elizabeth Banks), April (played by Isla Fisher), or Summer (played by Rachel Weisz) is her mother in the story that Will tells her.

You get carried along with the story, and you kinda feel caught up in Ryan's quest for some sort of balance to help him get through his transition from a young man in 1994, to a father in 2008. Having been down a similar path to the character of Will, I couldn't help but feel a few twangs in the old heart-strings when it came to the point that Maya realizes that things didn't quite work out for the best, but there was still a happy ending to the story... And yes, I shed a tear at this point... I am a sensitive guy, I won't deny it...

This movie keeps the audience glued to their seats, but not in a thriller kind of way, but more of a "I'd love to see how this all turns out" kind of way, and there's good reason behind it... This was by far a more refreshing change to the usual standard that one sees in romantic comedies nowadays. Definitely, Maybe gets top billing here, with five stars.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Running Time: 103 minutes.
Media: DVD.

I first saw this film back in 1987, on VHS, when VHS was still cool... I was in the sixth grade and the librarian of my school would show video screenings of "recent" movies that had come out... Back to the Future was one of those movies... and Ferris Bueller's Day Off was one of the many others I saw...

Matthew Broderick plays the title character, a smart, savvy 16-year old who decides to cut school for a day and take the city of Chicago by storm... Alongside of him are his girlfriend, Sloane Peterson, played by the then breath-taking Mia Sara, and best friend and hypochondriac, Cameron Frye, played by Alan Ruck.

Ferris's arch-nemesis is his school principal, Ed Rooney... a power-hungry man who wants nothing more than to see Ferris repeat school, year after year, after year... Rooney is to Ferris as Richard "Dick" Vernon was to John Bender... For those not sure what I'm referring to check out my entry for The Breakfast Club. One of his other enemies, or shall I call it "frienemies", in this case, is his sister, Jeanie, who would love to see Ferris take the fall for once for his antics. His parents, have absolutely no clue of his true behavior... whatsoever... Whether this is because Ferris is so convincing or because his parents are that dense, is yet to be determined...

This is a standard cat and mouse sort of theme, peppered with certain interwoven scenes where Ferris could get busted by Rooney, his parents or his sister; but easily manages to get away with it every single time... There is a parade scene, the well-known parade scene which pretty much defines the movie as a whole, which if it happened in this day and age, he'd have been busted within 5 minutes of the pictures and video being posted on Facebook and YouTube ;)

To a degree, I found this consistent "clean getaway" ability of Ferris's... almost too good to believe... I know, I know, it's only a movie... Ferris breaking the fourth wall every so often to chat to the audience kinda reminds me every time it happens, and you do end up cheering for Ferris...

But not this time, I decided to look at the movie from a particularly different angle this time around, from the view of Cameron... of whom, now after watching it this time, to me is the real star of the show... He's the one who isn't breaking the fourth wall to talk to the audience, even though he speaks to us a hell of a lot more clearly than Ferris seems to do. Cameron is the son of a divorced couple, currently living with his father, more of a realist than Ferris is, and grows up a heck of a lot faster than Ferris does in this movie... I personally think there was more character evolution in Cameron than there was in Ferris, and to me, as a result it's Cameron that shines more than the smirk-faced Ferris does... This appears to be of the same agreement for the writers of the TV version of the series, so much that the new face of Ferris Bueller, Charlie Schlatter, destroyed a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Matthew Broderick in the pilot episode, referring to the film and expressing his displeasure at Matthew Broderick portraying "him"... How about that?

As much as I love the film, I personally feel that the alarmingly strong innocence of Ferris's demeanor is almost too saccharine sweet for my liking... He is what everyone kinda aspires to be, but I personally felt more of a kinship to Cameron's character... Mostly due to his personal development in the film, and how he becomes more than Ferris could ever have become during the film's duration.

Oh and, I almost forgot, a small Easter egg of sorts... This was one of Charlie Sheen's first films, where he played a drug addict, who appears towards the end of the film... who as far as I can tell was off his face, and yet somewhat lucid... Kinda reminds of how Charlie was himself last year... off his face, and lucid... Could this have been a case of life imitating art? ;) Time can only tell... I'm giving Ferris Bueller's Day Off 4½ stars.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Running Time: 118 minutes.
Media: DVD.

What do you get when you throw Steve Carell, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd and Jane Lynch and stir the lot with a massive collection of 1980's action figures and enough sexual imagery and drug references to contrast with the hilariously vanilla Carell?

You have, in this case, the extended version of "40 Year-Old Virgin". Andy Stizer, played by Carell, is a straight-shooting 40 year old who is in general, a nice guy who just needs a decent break... To find love... and a good lay... His first...

With the help of Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd and Romany Malco... Andy gets himself in all matter of strife, inclusive of getting thrown up on, getting his chest waxed in pure agony and the worst speed dating session on record...

This film has so many parts which made me smirk like a teenager reading a dirty mag; and so many quips from Rogen, Rudd, Malco and Lynch that made me chuckle. Rogen and Rudd play off one another so well it's amazing... There is a love story hidden amongst the craziness and it plays out well with all the comedy in between; so well it almost becomes unbearably hilarious, so much I almost got a sore jaw from all the laughing...

You find yourself rooting (pardon the pun) for Andy as he moves from one disaster to another unti lthe somewhat predictable end. Catherine Keener plays Carell's love interest in the movie, of whom, in the MM's personal opinion, is actually kinda hot... I'm gonna give this 4½ stars... It's a great film but this was too much laughing for me!