Timecop

Running Time: 98 minutes.

Media: File Download.

I don't know why I did this... I must have been either out of my mind, drunk, or maybe I was high... possibly all three... But I took the liberty of watching this film when I had very little to do with my time a few weeks ago... when I had an hour and a half as well as a few million brain cells to kill.

Unless you're a Jean-Claude Van Damme enthusiast... anyone telling you that they saw a Jean-Claude Van Damme film will think you would have have better spent your time doing more liberating and productive things like taking a power drill to your skull. And predictably, Timecop is no exception.

The idea of time-travel films is one that is meant to provide a sense of entertainment and wonder, and getting somewhat confused trying to follow the differing timelines and how they interact with one another... Timecop is a little bit different... you are entertained by the somewhat horrible attempt of Jean-Claude mastering English, and entertained by the suspension of belief a viewer must have that someone with his accent can have the name of Max Walker... For those playing at home, the real Max Walker is a cricketing icon, and while both are equally as annoying as one another... at least I know that at least I know the cricketer is a lot more believable than Van Damme's character. You are provided with a sense of wonder, but only in the sense of wondering how the film could still have amassed over $45 million in the US during its box office release given how hokey it is... and the only confusion one seems get is trying to follow the plot: Time-travel discovered, Jean-Claude chases a few crooks through time, comes back, things have changed, travels back in time, and makes everything right again... The Back to the Future trilogy did a better job of this some nine years prior, with their final film finishing in 1990, some four years before this film came out... I don't think the Timecop screenwriters ever took the time to see the film that practically set the bar for time-travel films... and as a result, wrote this...

This film literally had my head shaking in disbelief... Mia Sara who kinda steals the show a bit ended up starring in a time-travel based series called Time Trax also involving a time-traveling cop back in 1993... To be honest, she wasn't moving up in the world when she did this film, she did in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but Timecop certainly wasn't a step in the right direction for her... One could say that any movie Jean-Claude has starred in was also not a step in the right direction for him... One can only wait and see what the sequel for The Expendables will be like with him starring in it, maybe this will be the kind of break he needs...

In the meantime, Timecop with all its... hokey-ness, gets a a two-star rating and no more... Not unless I want to die a slow and painful death, I already started that with watching this particular movie...