The Expendables

Running Time: 103 minutes.
Media: DVD.

Now, when you tend to see this many names in the one billing, your mind starts wandering; and you yourself start wondering how they're gonna give each of these people as much screen time as possible... For that matter, with something as nigh-ridiculous as an A-grade movie which seems to push the boundaries of a B-grade movie, such as what The Expendables proves to be, you wonder how this movie actually managed to rake in over $US 274 million.

I'll tell you how... it's a action-filled kill-fest, filled with top-billing stars. Combine this with a few B-grade actors and a somewhat plausible, and however, predictable plotline, and you've got the movie I'm currently watching now...

The action, bullets, knives and digital blood are non-stop in this film... I wish I could say the same for the seriousness of the film... The film manages to contain, in order, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Eric Roberts; without the cup overflowing in testosterone. As fantastic as that is there are a few points that I have to make... Sylvester Stallone's acting proves to be as wooden as his face. I don't think I saw any actual emotion on him throughout the entire film; if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's suffering from partial palsy. Jason Statham, Terry Crews and Randy Couture always seems angry and bitter... And Dolph Lundgren... Geez, did anyone know of a film that he's been in before this? Ever? The Masters of the Universe perhaps?

There's some redeeming features to this film, Mickey Rourke actually acts in this film; there's a quite poignant moment where Rourke, who plays the role of "Tool", a former Expendable, actually steals the scene with a monologue about Bosnia. Jet Li, who is more action than he is words does what he does best - deliver punch after kick, after punch, after kick. There's also the inclusion of the ever lovely Charisma Carpenter, who used to play Cordelia in the Buffy TV series. Eric Roberts does what he does best, talk down to everyone and smirk, not that that's a bad thing... it seems he does that in every film he's in, so I've taken that as a given with this film. And I couldn't resist adding a "'Cause Stone Cold says so!" every time Steve Austin said a line!

However, these "redeeming" qualities aren't quite enough to save The Expendables from getting top billing from me. the plot has as much weight as bag full of air. I'm even more surprised  that it's going into sequel mode later this year, with the addition of Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme... Can this sequel possibly work and not cause cinemas to explode from the sheer raw manpower? Given the nature of the cast members involved they should maybe consider renaming the sequel "The Expirables" for their lack of presence in Hollywood of late... Or "The Expandables" in relation to the girth of some of the actors who haven't kept fit of late... Who knows... Considering that Stallone both directs and produces this film still redeems it somewhat. Meantime, The Expendables gets three stars from the Movie Madman.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Running Time: 118 minutes.
Media: DVD.

While there are no snakes to scare the bejeezus out of our pal, Dr. Indiana Jones, there's a heck of a lot going on in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, another Steven Spielberg and George Lucas combination... It seems that whenever these two powerhouses join forces, anything is possible.

After almost losing his life, twice, at the hands of crime boss Lao Che, Indy winds up in India with Willie Scott, a night-club singer (they don't have those nowadays), played by Kate Capshaw, and his young Chinese sidekick, Short Round, played by Jonathan Quan (known then as Ke Huy Quan), of whom some would recognize as "Data" from The Goonies. Kate Capshaw, for those playing at home is now Steven Spielberg's wife... 

It has been believed that Indy has been sent by the gods, and has been quested to retrieve the missing Sankara stones that helped bring peace and prosperity to the village, and also to help reunite the village with their children who were stolen from them.

All hell seems to break loose, amid a potion that turns people into mindless zombies, a demonic Thugee priest called Mola Ram, played by Amrish Puri... who still kinda scares the crap out of me... (Talk about method acting, this guy was really into his character... none of this "Hey Steve, what's my motivation here?" business... ), the mining car ride from Hell and Willie Scott's wailing... This is a great movie, with a little craziness to set you going...

The movie seems to end pleasantly enough in the end like all Indiana Jones films... I'd rate it more if it wasn't for a little thing called "predictability"... Don't get me wrong, I think Harrison does a great job, but somehow there seemed to be something missing from the film as a whole to give it that extra kick to make you realize that this isn't just an "all's well that ends well" kind of movie... Nevertheless, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom still gets four stars...

Definitely, Maybe

Running Time: 112 minutes.
Media: DVD.
 
Definitely, Maybe is one of those films that although it is a "romantic comedy" by genre, is not a romantic comedy which promises you a kind of happily ever after - and that "all your dreams are gonna come true" It's about how dreams often don't come true, and that love and marriage can end up in divorce. This is a realistic movie which really takes you on a journey with Ryan Reynolds' character, William Hayes, an advertising executive, who tells his daughter about his life before marriage and how he ended up meeting his mother and the other women that came into his life.

Abigail Breslin, who seems to be popping up almost everywhere nowadays, plays Maya, William's daughter... a very inquisitive, and fairly switched on ten year-old, who is caught up in the midst of her father's divorce and is the one who tries to work out, along with the audience, which of the three female leads, Emily (played by Elizabeth Banks), April (played by Isla Fisher), or Summer (played by Rachel Weisz) is her mother in the story that Will tells her.

You get carried along with the story, and you kinda feel caught up in Ryan's quest for some sort of balance to help him get through his transition from a young man in 1994, to a father in 2008. Having been down a similar path to the character of Will, I couldn't help but feel a few twangs in the old heart-strings when it came to the point that Maya realizes that things didn't quite work out for the best, but there was still a happy ending to the story... And yes, I shed a tear at this point... I am a sensitive guy, I won't deny it...

This movie keeps the audience glued to their seats, but not in a thriller kind of way, but more of a "I'd love to see how this all turns out" kind of way, and there's good reason behind it... This was by far a more refreshing change to the usual standard that one sees in romantic comedies nowadays. Definitely, Maybe gets top billing here, with five stars.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Running Time: 103 minutes.
Media: DVD.

I first saw this film back in 1987, on VHS, when VHS was still cool... I was in the sixth grade and the librarian of my school would show video screenings of "recent" movies that had come out... Back to the Future was one of those movies... and Ferris Bueller's Day Off was one of the many others I saw...

Matthew Broderick plays the title character, a smart, savvy 16-year old who decides to cut school for a day and take the city of Chicago by storm... Alongside of him are his girlfriend, Sloane Peterson, played by the then breath-taking Mia Sara, and best friend and hypochondriac, Cameron Frye, played by Alan Ruck.

Ferris's arch-nemesis is his school principal, Ed Rooney... a power-hungry man who wants nothing more than to see Ferris repeat school, year after year, after year... Rooney is to Ferris as Richard "Dick" Vernon was to John Bender... For those not sure what I'm referring to check out my entry for The Breakfast Club. One of his other enemies, or shall I call it "frienemies", in this case, is his sister, Jeanie, who would love to see Ferris take the fall for once for his antics. His parents, have absolutely no clue of his true behavior... whatsoever... Whether this is because Ferris is so convincing or because his parents are that dense, is yet to be determined...

This is a standard cat and mouse sort of theme, peppered with certain interwoven scenes where Ferris could get busted by Rooney, his parents or his sister; but easily manages to get away with it every single time... There is a parade scene, the well-known parade scene which pretty much defines the movie as a whole, which if it happened in this day and age, he'd have been busted within 5 minutes of the pictures and video being posted on Facebook and YouTube ;)

To a degree, I found this consistent "clean getaway" ability of Ferris's... almost too good to believe... I know, I know, it's only a movie... Ferris breaking the fourth wall every so often to chat to the audience kinda reminds me every time it happens, and you do end up cheering for Ferris...

But not this time, I decided to look at the movie from a particularly different angle this time around, from the view of Cameron... of whom, now after watching it this time, to me is the real star of the show... He's the one who isn't breaking the fourth wall to talk to the audience, even though he speaks to us a hell of a lot more clearly than Ferris seems to do. Cameron is the son of a divorced couple, currently living with his father, more of a realist than Ferris is, and grows up a heck of a lot faster than Ferris does in this movie... I personally think there was more character evolution in Cameron than there was in Ferris, and to me, as a result it's Cameron that shines more than the smirk-faced Ferris does... This appears to be of the same agreement for the writers of the TV version of the series, so much that the new face of Ferris Bueller, Charlie Schlatter, destroyed a lifesize cardboard cut-out of Matthew Broderick in the pilot episode, referring to the film and expressing his displeasure at Matthew Broderick portraying "him"... How about that?

As much as I love the film, I personally feel that the alarmingly strong innocence of Ferris's demeanor is almost too saccharine sweet for my liking... He is what everyone kinda aspires to be, but I personally felt more of a kinship to Cameron's character... Mostly due to his personal development in the film, and how he becomes more than Ferris could ever have become during the film's duration.

Oh and, I almost forgot, a small Easter egg of sorts... This was one of Charlie Sheen's first films, where he played a drug addict, who appears towards the end of the film... who as far as I can tell was off his face, and yet somewhat lucid... Kinda reminds of how Charlie was himself last year... off his face, and lucid... Could this have been a case of life imitating art? ;) Time can only tell... I'm giving Ferris Bueller's Day Off 4½ stars.

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

Running Time: 118 minutes.
Media: DVD.

What do you get when you throw Steve Carell, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd and Jane Lynch and stir the lot with a massive collection of 1980's action figures and enough sexual imagery and drug references to contrast with the hilariously vanilla Carell?

You have, in this case, the extended version of "40 Year-Old Virgin". Andy Stizer, played by Carell, is a straight-shooting 40 year old who is in general, a nice guy who just needs a decent break... To find love... and a good lay... His first...

With the help of Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd and Romany Malco... Andy gets himself in all matter of strife, inclusive of getting thrown up on, getting his chest waxed in pure agony and the worst speed dating session on record...

This film has so many parts which made me smirk like a teenager reading a dirty mag; and so many quips from Rogen, Rudd, Malco and Lynch that made me chuckle. Rogen and Rudd play off one another so well it's amazing... There is a love story hidden amongst the craziness and it plays out well with all the comedy in between; so well it almost becomes unbearably hilarious, so much I almost got a sore jaw from all the laughing...

You find yourself rooting (pardon the pun) for Andy as he moves from one disaster to another unti lthe somewhat predictable end. Catherine Keener plays Carell's love interest in the movie, of whom, in the MM's personal opinion, is actually kinda hot... I'm gonna give this 4½ stars... It's a great film but this was too much laughing for me!

Eat Pray Love

Running Time: 133 minutes.
Media: Blu-Ray.

I saw this film yesterday on Blu-Ray disc, thinking it would be some soppy love story, and to a degree I was right. I did have to bear in mind that the movie was based on memoirs by Liz Gilbert by the same name, of which I hadn't read, but my partner had... She saw the film with me and said there were a few discrepancies between the book and the film, but these discrepancies are not the focus for this review...

While Julia's portrayal of Gilbert is fantastic, I couldn't help but feel that those who produced it tried too hard to market it as a comedy-drama... While there were a few amusing scenes within the film, the storyline itself gave little of the comedy and more of the drama, which really kinda kicked off towards the end of Gilbert's year long quest for self-discovery throughout Italy, where she stuffs herself with eggplant parmigiana and pappardelle with rabbit ragout; India, where we see her do more arguing with a guy called Richard from Texas than she does attaining inner peace; and Bali, where she tries to find some inner balance within herself regarding having left her previous life, a marriage, and a rebound relationship; and falls in love with a Brazilian guy called Felipe...

Felipe, played by a Spaniard, Javier Bardem, took a fair amount of brunt from reviewers such as myself saying that he was a poor choice because his Portuguese was poor... I'd like to come to the defense of the film here by saying that if they wanted to have Mr. Bardem speaking more Portuguese they would have done so, but from what I saw only a few lines were spoken of the language and more focus was given on the Italian side, where Julia Roberts seemed to excel incredibly well with her incredible accent. Speaking from somebody whose nationality stems partially from Naples, she did an incredibly good job.

I feel that although it is a bit soppy in the end with the "spurned love proclamation and reconciliation" cliché, I still found this a great film... The India part of the film I think fell a little flat... But I feel I may have to ask my better half for the book so that I can read it for greater insight to the film. In the meantime, this film gets four stars.

Sharktopus

Running Time: 89 minutes.
Media: Video file.

Yes, you're not imagining things... The name of the movie is "SHARKTOPUS"... I'm laughing as I write this... This is by far the most insane movie I've seen in my film review career... I'm actually forcing myself to watch this due to the fact I was intrigued by the name, the cover and the B-grade movie cheesy goodness that this movie seems to ooze more than an overloaded quesadilla...

In a record time, a sci-fi film has relayed the plot; a genetically designed hybrid, part-shark part-octopus, has just accidentally got itself released during a military demonstration near Santa Monica, and is now gobbling up locals at the quaint beach township of Puerto Vallarta. And it's up to a number of B-grade actors with less talent than the entire cast of "Saved by the Bell", to bring the creature down... This film is headed by none other than B-Grade extraordinaire, Eric Roberts... brother of Julia Roberts, the talented sibling of the two... He seems to be the only actor in this film that I'm vaguely aware of, let alone, the only actor who seems to be near-believeable in his acting... Everyone else, just makes me want to face-palm and go "WTF??"

With plenty of hilarious scenes where badly-acting beach-goers get chomped up by our title character, and more shots of women's cleavage; this film makes you keep scratching your head in disbelief. Whether you're trying to figure out where the plot is headed or how this film actually made it into production and onto the Syfy channel, and then onto DVD... or how one can sit through 89 minutes of sheer and not get lobotomized by the cheap acting, this movie was probably the craziest choice I ever made in what to review... and I will regret the hour-and-a-half I've lost that I will never get back... However, due to the "B-grade factor" and how ridiculously hilarious this movie is, I'm willing to give it 1½... actually, make it 2 stars... for a film that was low budget (like most Syfy original films are), but has the amazing ability to keep you watching... like a bad car accident... you don't want to stare but you can't look away... Be wary though, producer Roger Corman says he'd love to make a sequel to this film... Eek!

Though in retrospect, I'd probably recommend that you don't watch it unless you have 90 minutes to kill and a few ounces of brain cells you no longer need. On second thought, abandon seeing the film, and buy a six-pack of beer and kill the brain cells with that... at least you won't have any regrets afterwards...

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Running Time: 115 minutes.

Media: DVD.

I seem to still have the music playing in my head after having seen this movie last night... I finally saw this film in one full go, after thirty years... All I can say is, it's about bloody time...

Although Star Wars was Harrison Ford's big break... I would have to say from personal opinion, that it was Raiders of the Lost Ark that brought Ford to stardom; and having people like George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and music from John Williams to make it all come together didn't hurt things either!

We have the movie start with Indy getting upstaged by fellow archaeologist Belloq out of a prized idol after avoiding poison darts, wall spikes, rolling boulders and very pissed off South American natives wielding bows and arrows... He then gets wind of the possible location of the Ark of the Covenant over in Egypt and heads on over, only to wind up getting involved in trouble with his ex-fiancée Marion Ravenwood, who possesses the only link to finding the Ark. Nazi agents, middle-eastern henchmen and a couple of thousand snakes later, action goes into overdrive with Dr. Jones and Marion getting a hold on the Ark, until things go awry.

Given the time of the early 80's, and still in the Cold War days, it's not surprising that things end up well for Indy, and go sour for the Nazis; the whole "good versus evil" thing, and the good guys saving the world; and I guess, when you think about it, we have Indiana Jones to thank for saving us from the Führer. The movie gets a tiny bit schmaltzy as a result... particularly towards the end where some weird supernatural stuff happens with the Ark, which make me question the choice of storyline... it just seems... too easy... Particularly with the "spinning lid", you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it... As a result, my rating of the film has dropped...

Now, having never seen this movie, in full, previously, I'm planning to go through the movies in order in the near future... And I've been told Marion makes a comeback in the latest one, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. That's something I'd definitely look forward to watching in the near future... Until then, Raiders of the Lost Ark gets four stars.

Knight and Day

Running Time: 109 minutes.
Media: Blu-Ray

I took a look at Knight and Day on Blu-ray recently... and could not tear my eyes away from the screen. The one thing that stood out for me was the amount of non-stop action that occurred from beginning to end in between the few "quieter" moments within the film. This is what, in my personal opinion would have occurred if you took the elements of suspense and action in the three Mission: Impossible movies (not counting the most recent one, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, which I'll review in about a week's time after I've take the time to see it...) thrown in a bit of the kind of unexpected romance factor that you would have seen in films like Romancing the Stone or Jewel of the Nile and given it a good shake...

I wasn't disappointed. Despite the script having been re-written a number of times during its development, Knight and Day plays out so well I was glued to the seat. Cruise plays Roy Miller, a CIA agent, believed to have gone rogue; whose erratic behavior and almost outlandish cowboy nature makes car mechanic June Havens freak out as his involvement in her life has thrown it completely out of whack... Tom Cruise, having been previously categorized as a bit of a whack-job by the general public from around the time that he appeared on that episode of Oprah where he jumps on the couch; seems to have played on this publicity and kicked it into high gear by drawing upon this, as well as his roles as Ethan Hunt in the Mission: Impossible movies and produced a character which is two parts James Bond to three parts sociopath and nine parts f[CENSORED]king hilarious.

Cameron Diaz shines as the slightly neurotic and radiant June, who ends up diving into the world of espionage like she's a natural... with a few hiccups along the way. I would love for there to be a sequel of this... But even if there wasn't, this film would still receive the 5 star rating I'm giving it now.

Electric Dreams

Running Time: 95 minutes.
Media: File Download.

Anyone born in the late 70's, like myself would probably have been exposed to this song in some time of their life, and wondered "Hey, wasn't there a movie based on this song?"

Indeed there was my little movie addicts... Electric Dreams pushed the boundaries of cinema with Virgin Films debuting with this movie as its first... I remember recording this on an old VHS recorder when it was on Channel 10, I would have been maybe nine years old then. I loved the movie immensely, and for the first time in about 27 years, I've seen it again from start to finish... 

Miles Harding, played by a somewhat then (and somewhat still relatively) unknown Lenny Von Dohlen, is an architect who decides to buy a computer to help re-organize his life, update his security, automate his home, and to also help with him in the design of a new earthquake-proof brick. After Madeline (a cellist, played by the then 23-year-old Virgina Madsen) moves upstairs, all hell breaks loose... An accidental spill of champagne on the computer's circuitry as well as an overload of information from Miles' company server turns his computer sentient... Artificial intelligence at its best, but unlike some other films where the intelligence is instantaneous, the computer (who eventually becomes known as Edgar by the end of the film), has to learn like everyone else...

Eventually Edgar becomes sentient enough to make Miles' life hell, play music, take over the house, and fall in love with Madeline (something Miles is against, particularly because Edgar is making his life a misery)...

The film makes me smile even now, and with computer graphics that at that stage were comparable but not as great as say Tron was... and cool music by Jeff Lynne (of ELO fame) and Culture Club, this movie will make your heart reach out to Edgar... Having said that, I found Von Dohlen's portrayal of a bespectacled socially-inept nerd kinda irritating... It's only the talent of Bud Cort (who voices Edgar) who seems to save the day by playing off the nerdiness of Miles. There is one other thing that seems to keep me from giving this 5 stars, and that's towards the end, the final sequence, where people are dancing like crazy to Phil Oakley's "Electric Dreams" song. It's... a little overdone... That's just my opinion... Maybe I'm thinking like this because it's over a quarter of a century later since I first saw it, I don't know... but it's kinda weird to me now... But if I'm docking half a star for that and Miles' character portrayal, it's a small price to pay. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry... and it will make you nuts ;) Enjoy!

We Bought a Zoo

Running Time: 123 minutes.
Media: Cinematic Release.

I had the unique opportunity to see the new movie with Matt Damon, called "We Bought a Zoo" about two weeks ago with my partner... I had my initial reservations, naturally, given that I thought this movie would be a very sappy rendition of a family that bought a zoo, which seems like the appropriate assumption given the title...

To my delight, I found this film quite appealing, only due to the fact that there were warm cuddly animals, and Scarlett Johansson ;) Matt Damon plays journalist, Benjamin Mee, who basically quits his job and moves out to the country to take ownership of Dartmoor Wildlife Park. His daughter Rosie has no issues with the move, in fact she relishes it. His son Dylan, is the usual teenage stereotype rebel; talented, smart and resents his school, his family, the move, the animals, and probably the rest of the known universe...

This film has the clichés that tend to result from the usual biopic with a family involvement... The hard-working optimistic father; the token rebellious older child; the token irrepressibly cute younger child, who usually has one line that cracks the audience up in laughter; the hard-working but socially-inept love interest that everyone knows will be honing in on the protagonist at the very end of the movie, picked out by the audience from the moment they see her, the person who seems a little out of place because they're either a bit crazy, a bit drunk, or both; the predictable happy ending...

These and the saccharin sweet performances of  Maggie Elizabeth Jones and Elle Fanning (who plays Lily, Dylan's eventual love interest), kinda taint the storyline a bit... From what I've read about the back story for this movie (seeing it is based off real life events) there are a number of discrepancies that changed the movie for a more suitable audience in the States; stuff like the actual location of the zoo... Rosemoor Wildlife Park was based off the original zoo, Dartmoor Zoological Park, which is actually located in Devon, England. Although the necessary changes that were made to the film for a US audience were approved by Benjamin Mee for the film itself, I can't help but feel that the true story itself has changed considerably as a result.

As much as I enjoyed this film, I'll have to give this film 4 stars... Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent movie, but I feel that the number of changes made to the original story make it less "based on a true story" and more "trying to appeal to as many US movie-goers as possible." I guess that's Hollywood for you...