Blade, Blade II and Blade: Trinity

Running Times: 120 minutes, 117 minutes and 113 minutes respectively.
Media: DVD.

I'm probably a bit crazy to see three vampire films back to back, but ask anyone who is a fan of the Twilight series of movies and they'll tell you something else.

The Blade movie trilogy does its best to work Wesley Snipes as the title character and does so rather well, but only for so long. The first movie focuses on the world of dhampir (half-human, half-vampire) Blade whose sole purpose it seems is to rid the world of vampires. Buffy Summers what the hell out... This bastard doesn't do bubble-gum horror. 

Blade in itself is a great movie and while a few scenes are clearly CGI, the movie itself is great to gain a basic grasp of the mythology behind the Marvel comic book character created in 1973. Stephen Dorff plays the ruggedly handsome Deacon Frost, Blade's nemesis in the movie, while the near immortal Kris Kristofferson plays Abraham Whistler, a kind of fatherly Van Helsing type character with a limp. This movie has a few areas which defy belief, for example; a vampire can tolerate sunlight provided they have an ample supply of high-strength sunblock.

Blade seems to have more credibility in this film than he does in the sequels, probably because of the lack of many other characters to tell the story... Wesley Snipes is a great choice for the character and I can see why the choice was made. It's a bit of a pity that he's currently serving time. I'm giving Blade 4 stars for a great film with plenty of action and the occasional blood-sucking vampire!

Okay, now for Blade II, in which Blade decides to join up (somewhat unwillingly) with what he hates the most, vampires; to hunt down an even greater threat, a mutation of vampires known as Reapers, only to find out there's a little conspiracy going on within the ranks.

The movie contains a few actors who, in retrospect are quite familiar with partaking in roles within horror-based movies... The godfather of horror, Ron Perlman, who seems to be a lot more handsome when he's playing Hellboy than when he did playing a Jewish gangster in Drive; and Tony Curran who played Markus Corvinus, the "first vampire" in the Underworld movie series.

I was pleasantly surprised to find Danny John-Jules (the guy who played Cat in the Red Dwarf) series also present, as I was a big Red Dwarf fan when I was younger, but have since not found him playing any major roles in anything. Luke Goss plays Jared Nomak, the original Reaper who is out to seek revenge for his father creating him. Goss's character is very much not necessarily an anti-hero, but more of an anti-villain... He didn't want to be the baad guy, but he.. just is... You kinda feel sorry for him in the end. The movie seems to have less distinguishable CGI, which to me is great, because you don't want to watch a movie and knowingly see CGI occurring... but the movie kinda ends a little sappily when Blade's co-hunter, Nyssa who's been bitten by Nomak wishes to "see the sun again one last time"... Blade seems to share what appears to be a quasi-intimate moment with her as she starts turning to ash as the sun rises. I've given this film 3½ stars for being able to continue the Blade franchise.

Lastly, Blade: Trinity... I think after six years the team at Marvel kinda started losing their touch with the series and decided to throw two new stars in the mix, the ever luscious Jennifer Biel, and the ever-wisecracking entity that is Ryan Reynolds. These two play Abigail Whistler and Hannibal King who are part of a vampire-fighting force known as the Nightstalkers. Their foe? Why only Count Dracula himself, who calls himself "Drake" nowadays... Guess Dracula... Drake likes to keep with the times!

The movie kinda gets a bit ridiculous at times, I'm not sure whether it's because Reynolds' jokes become a bit routine but are funny enough to keep the momentum going, or whether it's because of the somewhat hammy acting of Dominic Purcell, or the somewhat hammier acting of Parker Posey who plays one of Drake's minions, Danica Talos. I did manage to watch the film from start to end in one sitting... but I've come out of it somewhat disappointed... The movie seemed to end a lot quicker than normal, even though I was watching the extended version of the film... I guess what I can say is, that if Marvel do decide to do a reboot of the series, and that they do decide on say, Idris Elba, (of whom has expressed interest in the title role should there be a reboot), that they will have learned their lesson from this previous series... I guess this will be a matter of time as to whether this comes to fruition. I'm giving this 2½ stars due to it still being a somewhat reasonable film... but if it weren't for Jessica's good looks and Ryan's humor throughout the film, I probably would have not watched it.

He's Just Not That Into You

Okay, my first rom-com review, woohoo! I don't normally do rom-coms, but I sat through this entire film one night on the telly and couldn't stop watching.

Nine people from Baltimore go through the trials and tribulations of love. It's a bit of a tangled web that's weaved. Let's go through the list of names here in the cast...

Let's see, Jennifer Aniston, she's like the queen of rom-coms and ever gorgeous... Scarlett Johansson who basically plays an absolute minx in this film... I kinda swooned in the scenes where she's present.Drew Barrymore, she's a little... laid back in this film; which could be explained by the fact that she also produced the film and so did not want too much attention drawn to her, and more focused on the other characters in the cast. Jennifer Connelly who seems a little older than the others, she seems like more of a 40-something than a 30-something in this film... No offence to Ms Connelly, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love her in the film, but she seems to strike me more as a more mature-age actor nowadays, her youth and potential that she displayed in Labyrinth all those years ago is no longer at its peak. And then there's the irrepressively cute-as-a-button Ginnifer Goodwin, she kinda made me feel good to be watching this film... I kinda felt I was seeing myself in Justin Long's shoes in this film... Bradley Cooper, Kevin Connolly and Ben Affleck finish off the ensemble.

So they're all trying to figure out who's into whom, whether one couple will work out or not... In the end there's a few people who get together, there's a few that don't... But all in all, it made me feel good about myself after watching this film... No sense spoiling it for anyone, you need to see it in order to truly appreciate this film.

There's one thing that stops me from giving this film a 5 star rating, and that's the compulsive paranoia of Jennifer Connelly's character... obsessing more on the honesty of hubby Bradley Cooper's cigarette habit than the honesty of their relationship; and then there's that "older" persona that she seems to ooze... Now here's a quick bit of math, Jen Connelly is 40 now, which means she was 38 when she made the film... But she still seemed to give an over-40's vibe in the film... far much more than Jen Aniston who ironically, was 40 when she made the film and yet gave a mid-30's vibe to her character... So I'm going to give it 4½ stars, and while it is just a ti-i-i-i-i-i-ny bit off because of the Jen-Con factor, this will definitely be in the near future part of my DVD collection as a re-watchable film over and over again.

Hercules Returns

Running Time: 82 minutes.
Media: File Download.

I must have seen this when I turned 17... which magically coincided with its release year of 1993. I'm not particularly sure why, but I think it's only because of my memories of how funny it seemed at the time that has made me see this movie yet again...

This movie is a send-up of the original movie, now bear with me here... Ercole, Sansone, Maciste e Ursus gli invincibili, (back in 1964), and as much of a cult following that Hercules Returns has, the film did provide not much more than a smile on my face with a number of the jokes that seemed to pile in one after another... Remember, I had last seen this movie about eighteen years ago and so I've matured considerably...

The movie focuses on Brad McBain, a film buff and employee of a large cinema chain, who quits his job to open a local cinema of his own. His ex-boss attempts to sabotage the opening night by switching film reels with an Italian copy and completely undubbed, so McBain (played by David Argue), his publicist Lisa (played by Mary Coustas) and Sprocket the projectionist (played by Bruce Spence) attempt to save the evening by dubbing over the original movie with their own voices...

...At least that's what we're led to believe... Des Mangan and Sally Patience are the once providing the majority of voices to the principal characters in the 1964 movie being shown and being dubbed. As wonderful as this was that such a feat of over-dubbing could be done... most of the references seemed to be more focused on the 1980's than any other time period and there seemed to be a lot of immature fart and sex jokes... which are great the first few that come around... but then seem to meld into one another, making them somewhat difficult to distinguish and therefore leaves you wondering whether there was any original humor. To be honest, I saw more talent in the over-dubbing made in Kung Pow: Enter the Fist wiht Steve Oedekerk.

I'd be curious to see how the original movie would review, but for now, I'm giving Hercules Returns 3½ stars...

Hancock

I have to apologize for my tardiness over this last week... so many movies to watch and just not enough time to view them all. I'd be seriously considering, as a means of penance, to review several "time" related movies in the near future.

Meantime, we're reviewing a movie I happened to pick up on the TV last night, an old favorite, even if it is a little goofy; Hancock, starring Will Smith, Charlize Theron and the ever immortal and yet, somewhat vanilla, Jason Bateman.

This movie revolves around our eponymous self-titled character, John Hancock, a man who hates himself more than others do, and what makes it even more strange is that this guy has super powers: invulnerability, flight, super speed, super strength, and so forth... And while he does fight the good fight against criminals in Los Angeles, he does so at the cost of infrastructure, people's personal property, as well as in one case, the life of a whale. Hancock, played by Will Smith, takes on the services of personal relations consultant, Ray Embrey, played by Jason Bateman, much to the disdain of wife Mary, played by the incredibly dazzling Charlize Theron. Additional hijinks occur with the discovery of a secret within the Embrey family and the need for revenge by three of Hancock's lock-aways in prison.

The movie has astounding special effects but as I said just a moment ago, it can get a little goofy... I honestly thought there would be more chemistry between Theron and Smith's characters, because they seem to steal every scene they're in. Bateman is vanilla, but seems to ooze a boyish kind of charm, like a boy scout who never grew up. This guy has hardly aged a bit since his days in The Hogan Family...

The movie starts off at a reasonable pace, but then ramps up way too quickly towards the end; I figure it could have slowed down a little more and as a result would have been a better movie by incorporating a little more storyline. Will is funny, in an anti-hero sort of way, non-flirtatious, which was perfect for this role. I think Peter Berg, the director was trying to cash in on a similar tangent to Robert Downey, Jr.'s portrayal of Tony Stark from Iron Man, but intentionally turning off the charm switch to get a low-esteem version of a superhero. He succeeds in doing this, but he doesn't overdo it. This movie gets 3½ stars for a great movie, but failing to provide a fuller sense of what this movie could have been if it had pushed harder.

The Transformers (TV Series on DVD)

Running Time: 2549 minutes.
Media: DVD.

After having recently acquired two figurines from a friend of mine as a belated birthday gift, I've been inspired to review something now some 25 or so years since its initial release to TV, the Transformers cartoon series, and in this case, the original series from 1984 to 1988...

Sad, isn't it? Not really, considering the recent movie trilogy has raked in over $2.6 billion USD, I'd say it's done incredibly well, based off a very unique concept... Well, maybe not so unique. Anyone who tuned into Channel 7 down here in Australia back in 1984 to 1985 on an early Saturday morning, as I did would have seen similar antics from a race of transforming robots known as the Mighty GoBots, also marketed down here as Machine Men. Hasbro went a step further and came out with Transformers, of which Marvel, Sunbow Productions and IDW Publishing took it further, and released both the cartoon series on TV and the comic book series. Being young and not able to afford comic books back then, I was content enough to let 22 to 24 minutes of my life every week be devoted to watching these amazing robots battle against one another. Autobot against Decepticon. Decepticon against Autobot.

I took the opportunity earlier this year to sit through all 98 (yes, count them, 98!) episodes due to a relatively small investment at a local video and entertainment store, and purchasing the boxed set. It was always a passion of mine to own the series some day. The entire series is spaced out on 15 DVDs, which, including features is a whopping 2549 minutes... Which is a solid 42 hours and 29 minutes... And I spent the good part of three weekends going through all these...

The incredible thing about Transformers is that while the movie series of late may not appeal to the harshest of critics, the original series however, will always bring them back home. The series marks the struggle of the Autobots, in the brave command of Optimus Prime, in the battle against the evil Decepticons, headed by the maniacal and from recent reports, chronically emphysemic, Megatron.

The somewhat disappointing part of this, is that while the series portrays the Transformers from seasons 1 through to 4; the critical turning point post-season 2 to pre-season 3, has been left out. You actually are required to purchase "The Transformers", the animated movie, to see how things follow up from the end of season 2, to the start of season 3. The movie does not come bundled in with the series, which is a tad disappointing.

All in all, the Transformers cartoon series is great for any hard core fan such as myself. I'm giving this 4½ stars for bringing back childhood memories, having only deducted the ½ star for not having had the Animated movie to link the two middle series together.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2009)

Running Time: 152 minutes.
Media: DVD.

The book on which this movie is based, has but of course, become the next thing since the Harry Potter series and the Twilight Saga. Stieg Larsson brings his characters to life in the Millenium series, the first, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, is a best-seller. It seems every second person is reading this book... The Movie Madman has only just finished it last week, and is soon to follow it up with reading the sequel, The Girl Who Played with Fire.

But the real question is, how well does The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo translate onto the silver screen? I missed out on seeing this in the cinema and so I've had to resort to watching it on DVD. So I'll give you the best review I can.

One thing you'll come to notice is that this movie is in Swedish, and with English subtitles, so one thing I've come to learn is that you are continuously looking at the subtitles, as if watching a foreign movie on SBS. This can get annoying if, unlike myself, you are not used to having to read a movie. The title itself "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" isn't even the actual translation for the Swedish title "Män Som Hatar Kvinnor" which translates to "Men Who Hate Women"; which kinda gives you a bit of an idea of how dark this story can actually become, and considering the movie features much more graphic and somewhat violent scenarios, the book seems a little lean in comparison. Having read the book recently, I've always been curious to see how well the book translates into film. Accordingly, I tend to have somewhat high expectations of such book-to-movie transitions. I have to confess, even some fifty minutes in, the movie does adhere considerably to the storyline, with a few minor alterations to help speed the story along, but nothing that would detract from the original altogether.

Noomi Rapace stars as Lisbeth Salander, the enigmatic gothic computer security consultant; who is actually quite gorgeous, despite the black make-up and piercings. She'll actually be starring in the new Sherlock Holmes movie coming out in December alongside of Robert Downey, Jr. Mikael Blomkvist, played by Michael Nyqvist, who stars in the newest film in the Mission Impossible film franchise, Ghost Protocol, is also pretty much spot-on in his portrayal of the troubled journalist. If anything, he fits my expected interpretation of his description from the book.

This movie does come with a caveat from me, as it does contain scenes of violence and sex-related themes which may offend or upset some people. To be honest, I would highly recommend reading the book first before even considering watching the movie as I am doing now; kinda prepares you for what you end up seeing. Mind you, now having seen the movie, I now have a strange desire to eat meatballs and herring, and buy stuff from IKEA.

I personally would love to see how the American remake of this film, starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara, as Mikael and Lisbeth respectively, plays out in comparison. I'll be giving this movie 4½ stars for an excellent interpretation from print to screen.

K-19: The Widowmaker

Running Time: 138 minutes.
Media: DVD.

I'm always a little anxious when I come across a film whereby well-known actors are cast in roles where accents are generally required... Such is the quandy I find myself in now, whilst watching K-19: The Widowmaker, a war film that stars two legends (in my personal opinion), Liam Neeson, a seasoned Irish actor; and Harrison Ford, also a seasoned actor, hailing from Chicago, Illinois. To hear these two men converse with their Russian accents reminds me of a classic quote from Raphael from the 80's cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

"He's not only from an alternate dimension, but also ancient Japan. So naturally, he speaks English." 

Don't get me wrong here, K-19 is an excellent movie, but the audience needs to look past the occasional accent-related glitch that may arise when you hear both Neeson and Ford talking. The accents slip in and out sporadically, but after a while you do become desensitized to it and you're able to focus more on the plot. I had a similar problem regarding accents in Valkyrie but not at the start of the film when I heard Tom Cruise deliver the prologue in flawless German; but when I heard many a British or American actor playing the role of a German speak in English accents... I guess I'm a stickler for the want of a bit of realism without requiring a leap of faith... or an atlas, to figure out where exactly I am.

The story unfolds in the early 1960's where the K-19, Russia's flagship nuclear submarine has been launched, headed by Captain Alexei Vostrikov, played by Ford. His XO, Mikhail Polenin, is played by none other than Neeson. Naturally these two come to blows about all sorts of crap, whilst still sharing unwavering patriotism for Mother Russia.

The s[CENSORED]t hits the proverbial fan when the submarine is reaching American waters only to find that the vessel's nuclear reactor system is leaking, which is a threat to not only those on board but also the missiles on board.

Harrison Ford provides some humorous food for thought around 13 minutes in, when he says:

"...No sailors have been given such a boat as K-19. It is the finest submarine in the world..."

Given the circumstances that follow makes me wonder, if the K-19 was the finest submarine in the world known in Russia, can you imagine what the worst Russian submarine would have been like? Probably would have been a dead-set lemon in comparison... Sailors would have to get out and push, brakes would have gotten stuck now and again and you'd probably would have to get in and out through the windows because the doors were stuck like it was some huge marine equivalent of the General Lee. But I digress...

The film plays well from start to finish, and as the casting of mainstream actors for the movie was limited mainly to the two opposing officers, the film was kept well grounded from the start. K-19: The Widowmaker receives four stars, given the intermittent accent issues from Neeson and Ford, but despite this I know I'll be enjoying this film now and again for years to come.

Fright Night (1985)

Running Time: 106 minutes.
Media: DVD.

Would you believe I picked up this little gem of a DVD for a mere dollar at a garage sale? I was blown away when I saw this and decided to go for it!

Fright Night is a 26 year old movie according to the timeline now, and stars William Ragsdale as the ever paranoid vampire-phobe Charley Brewster... For those playing at home, William Ragsdale played Herman Brooks in the 3-season sitcom series Herman's Head from 1991 to 1994. According to Wikipedia, Ragsdale would have been 24 when the film was made, so the older person playing a teenager idea is nothing new (consider nearly ever member of the cast of Glee). In fact if I recall correctly, Michael J. Fox was about the same age when he started work on Back to the Future; and surprisingly Ragsdale plays the part of a teen rather well, even though he does seem to bear a slight resemblance to Finn from Glee.

The one thing that surprised me is the starring of Amanda Bearse as Amy; and while the name didn't ring any bells that immediately, her face did... Amanda was known for her recurring role as Marcy in Married... With Children... And she's actually quite cute in this film... What the hell happened to her nowadays?

It all seems to go to pot for Charley, a fan of horror films, when he accidentally spies on his next door neighbor sucking neck on an unsuspecting victim. The neighbor, Jerry, is a vampire played by Susan Sarandon's ex-husband, Chris Sarandon, then gives Charley an ultimatum, leave him be, or he'll be killed... Charley, however, prefers to keep living... so he's in deep poop... Hijinks ensue when Charley recruits the services of supposed "vampire killer" Peter Vincent, played by Roddy McDowall, with the help of his girlfriend, Amy, and Charley's best friend, "Evil Ed", who seems to have been placed there for comic relief. At this point, the Movie Madman would like to state that the director failed miserably... It seems that although Stephen Geoffreys, who plays Evil Ed, seems to have a lot of experience in movies such as this, that the addition of him to this film, ironically subtracts more appeal from the film rather than adding to it.

The movie itself starts off with more oomph than you would expect of an 80's vampire flick, but it kinda starts to plateau after about halfway... and to be honest, the acting starts to get a bit lame after that point. Be on the watch for a scene between a recently sired "Evil Ed" and Peter Vincent, as well as a similar scene where these two characters meet again later on in the movie; and you'll see my point.

The back on the DVD boasted "If you love being scared, this will be the night of your life!"... To be honest, I didn't really find this movie as frightening as claimed. The film ends in the stereotypical fashion as most vampire movies did back then, but it's kinda left me kinda disappointed as the acting becomes quite schlocky and the special effects get progressively worse. I'd be more inclined to see how the movie's remake of Fright Night that was released in August earlier this year fares in comparison... I'm giving this movie two stars for the effort, even if it wasn't a decent effort...

Sherlock - Series One (TV Series on DVD)

Being a huge Sherlock Holmes fan and having seen my fair share of Sherlock Holmes movies, TV shows and whatnot; to hear that there would be a more up-to-date version coming to TV seemed a little bit of a stretch... I mean, how could you modernize a classic like the stories of Sherlock Holmes?

Amazingly enough, the series, created by the BBC, does it incredibly well. Co-written by Mark Gatiss, one of the co-stars of the series and also one of the writers of the Doctor Who series, the show incorporates very creative interpretations of the original Sherlockian canon of stories.

The first series involves only three episodes, A Study in Pink, The Blind Banker and also The Great Game. The first, revolves at first around how both Holmes and Watson meet and their familiarizing themselves with one another; whilst also solving a case involving the deaths of a number of supposed suicide victims. The other two episodes revolve around a smuggling ring and a race against time to save innocents from being blown up, leading to the final conclusion where we see the cliffhanger moment by which the series leaves us, baiting the audience to wanting more.

Benedict Cumberbatch seems quite young but holds his own as the self-titled lead, with an air that speaks volumes. Cumberbatch in his mannerisms and attitude cries out "Sherlock Holmes" in so many ways you literally get sucked into this world where the essence of Holmes actually resides in a thrity-something year-old man in the twenty-first century. Sherlock (it seems that both Holmes and Watson now refer to each other by their first names) displays a very Asperger-esque manner by which he works his way through one clue to the next. Martin Freeman, a seasoned actor, shows his strength as the war-ravaged and sometimes comical Doctor John Watson.

For a DVD series, I'm eagerly awaiting the release of the second series on TV and hoping the DVDs come out as quickly. By far, a brilliant piece of work, even though at times it does detract from the original stories. This series will be receiving 4½ stars, and I hope series two receives the same.