Sharktopus

Running Time: 89 minutes.
Media: Video file.

Yes, you're not imagining things... The name of the movie is "SHARKTOPUS"... I'm laughing as I write this... This is by far the most insane movie I've seen in my film review career... I'm actually forcing myself to watch this due to the fact I was intrigued by the name, the cover and the B-grade movie cheesy goodness that this movie seems to ooze more than an overloaded quesadilla...

In a record time, a sci-fi film has relayed the plot; a genetically designed hybrid, part-shark part-octopus, has just accidentally got itself released during a military demonstration near Santa Monica, and is now gobbling up locals at the quaint beach township of Puerto Vallarta. And it's up to a number of B-grade actors with less talent than the entire cast of "Saved by the Bell", to bring the creature down... This film is headed by none other than B-Grade extraordinaire, Eric Roberts... brother of Julia Roberts, the talented sibling of the two... He seems to be the only actor in this film that I'm vaguely aware of, let alone, the only actor who seems to be near-believeable in his acting... Everyone else, just makes me want to face-palm and go "WTF??"

With plenty of hilarious scenes where badly-acting beach-goers get chomped up by our title character, and more shots of women's cleavage; this film makes you keep scratching your head in disbelief. Whether you're trying to figure out where the plot is headed or how this film actually made it into production and onto the Syfy channel, and then onto DVD... or how one can sit through 89 minutes of sheer and not get lobotomized by the cheap acting, this movie was probably the craziest choice I ever made in what to review... and I will regret the hour-and-a-half I've lost that I will never get back... However, due to the "B-grade factor" and how ridiculously hilarious this movie is, I'm willing to give it 1½... actually, make it 2 stars... for a film that was low budget (like most Syfy original films are), but has the amazing ability to keep you watching... like a bad car accident... you don't want to stare but you can't look away... Be wary though, producer Roger Corman says he'd love to make a sequel to this film... Eek!

Though in retrospect, I'd probably recommend that you don't watch it unless you have 90 minutes to kill and a few ounces of brain cells you no longer need. On second thought, abandon seeing the film, and buy a six-pack of beer and kill the brain cells with that... at least you won't have any regrets afterwards...

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Running Time: 115 minutes.

Media: DVD.

I seem to still have the music playing in my head after having seen this movie last night... I finally saw this film in one full go, after thirty years... All I can say is, it's about bloody time...

Although Star Wars was Harrison Ford's big break... I would have to say from personal opinion, that it was Raiders of the Lost Ark that brought Ford to stardom; and having people like George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and music from John Williams to make it all come together didn't hurt things either!

We have the movie start with Indy getting upstaged by fellow archaeologist Belloq out of a prized idol after avoiding poison darts, wall spikes, rolling boulders and very pissed off South American natives wielding bows and arrows... He then gets wind of the possible location of the Ark of the Covenant over in Egypt and heads on over, only to wind up getting involved in trouble with his ex-fiancée Marion Ravenwood, who possesses the only link to finding the Ark. Nazi agents, middle-eastern henchmen and a couple of thousand snakes later, action goes into overdrive with Dr. Jones and Marion getting a hold on the Ark, until things go awry.

Given the time of the early 80's, and still in the Cold War days, it's not surprising that things end up well for Indy, and go sour for the Nazis; the whole "good versus evil" thing, and the good guys saving the world; and I guess, when you think about it, we have Indiana Jones to thank for saving us from the Führer. The movie gets a tiny bit schmaltzy as a result... particularly towards the end where some weird supernatural stuff happens with the Ark, which make me question the choice of storyline... it just seems... too easy... Particularly with the "spinning lid", you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it... As a result, my rating of the film has dropped...

Now, having never seen this movie, in full, previously, I'm planning to go through the movies in order in the near future... And I've been told Marion makes a comeback in the latest one, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. That's something I'd definitely look forward to watching in the near future... Until then, Raiders of the Lost Ark gets four stars.

Knight and Day

Running Time: 109 minutes.
Media: Blu-Ray

I took a look at Knight and Day on Blu-ray recently... and could not tear my eyes away from the screen. The one thing that stood out for me was the amount of non-stop action that occurred from beginning to end in between the few "quieter" moments within the film. This is what, in my personal opinion would have occurred if you took the elements of suspense and action in the three Mission: Impossible movies (not counting the most recent one, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, which I'll review in about a week's time after I've take the time to see it...) thrown in a bit of the kind of unexpected romance factor that you would have seen in films like Romancing the Stone or Jewel of the Nile and given it a good shake...

I wasn't disappointed. Despite the script having been re-written a number of times during its development, Knight and Day plays out so well I was glued to the seat. Cruise plays Roy Miller, a CIA agent, believed to have gone rogue; whose erratic behavior and almost outlandish cowboy nature makes car mechanic June Havens freak out as his involvement in her life has thrown it completely out of whack... Tom Cruise, having been previously categorized as a bit of a whack-job by the general public from around the time that he appeared on that episode of Oprah where he jumps on the couch; seems to have played on this publicity and kicked it into high gear by drawing upon this, as well as his roles as Ethan Hunt in the Mission: Impossible movies and produced a character which is two parts James Bond to three parts sociopath and nine parts f[CENSORED]king hilarious.

Cameron Diaz shines as the slightly neurotic and radiant June, who ends up diving into the world of espionage like she's a natural... with a few hiccups along the way. I would love for there to be a sequel of this... But even if there wasn't, this film would still receive the 5 star rating I'm giving it now.

Electric Dreams

Running Time: 95 minutes.
Media: File Download.

Anyone born in the late 70's, like myself would probably have been exposed to this song in some time of their life, and wondered "Hey, wasn't there a movie based on this song?"

Indeed there was my little movie addicts... Electric Dreams pushed the boundaries of cinema with Virgin Films debuting with this movie as its first... I remember recording this on an old VHS recorder when it was on Channel 10, I would have been maybe nine years old then. I loved the movie immensely, and for the first time in about 27 years, I've seen it again from start to finish... 

Miles Harding, played by a somewhat then (and somewhat still relatively) unknown Lenny Von Dohlen, is an architect who decides to buy a computer to help re-organize his life, update his security, automate his home, and to also help with him in the design of a new earthquake-proof brick. After Madeline (a cellist, played by the then 23-year-old Virgina Madsen) moves upstairs, all hell breaks loose... An accidental spill of champagne on the computer's circuitry as well as an overload of information from Miles' company server turns his computer sentient... Artificial intelligence at its best, but unlike some other films where the intelligence is instantaneous, the computer (who eventually becomes known as Edgar by the end of the film), has to learn like everyone else...

Eventually Edgar becomes sentient enough to make Miles' life hell, play music, take over the house, and fall in love with Madeline (something Miles is against, particularly because Edgar is making his life a misery)...

The film makes me smile even now, and with computer graphics that at that stage were comparable but not as great as say Tron was... and cool music by Jeff Lynne (of ELO fame) and Culture Club, this movie will make your heart reach out to Edgar... Having said that, I found Von Dohlen's portrayal of a bespectacled socially-inept nerd kinda irritating... It's only the talent of Bud Cort (who voices Edgar) who seems to save the day by playing off the nerdiness of Miles. There is one other thing that seems to keep me from giving this 5 stars, and that's towards the end, the final sequence, where people are dancing like crazy to Phil Oakley's "Electric Dreams" song. It's... a little overdone... That's just my opinion... Maybe I'm thinking like this because it's over a quarter of a century later since I first saw it, I don't know... but it's kinda weird to me now... But if I'm docking half a star for that and Miles' character portrayal, it's a small price to pay. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry... and it will make you nuts ;) Enjoy!

We Bought a Zoo

Running Time: 123 minutes.
Media: Cinematic Release.

I had the unique opportunity to see the new movie with Matt Damon, called "We Bought a Zoo" about two weeks ago with my partner... I had my initial reservations, naturally, given that I thought this movie would be a very sappy rendition of a family that bought a zoo, which seems like the appropriate assumption given the title...

To my delight, I found this film quite appealing, only due to the fact that there were warm cuddly animals, and Scarlett Johansson ;) Matt Damon plays journalist, Benjamin Mee, who basically quits his job and moves out to the country to take ownership of Dartmoor Wildlife Park. His daughter Rosie has no issues with the move, in fact she relishes it. His son Dylan, is the usual teenage stereotype rebel; talented, smart and resents his school, his family, the move, the animals, and probably the rest of the known universe...

This film has the clichés that tend to result from the usual biopic with a family involvement... The hard-working optimistic father; the token rebellious older child; the token irrepressibly cute younger child, who usually has one line that cracks the audience up in laughter; the hard-working but socially-inept love interest that everyone knows will be honing in on the protagonist at the very end of the movie, picked out by the audience from the moment they see her, the person who seems a little out of place because they're either a bit crazy, a bit drunk, or both; the predictable happy ending...

These and the saccharin sweet performances of  Maggie Elizabeth Jones and Elle Fanning (who plays Lily, Dylan's eventual love interest), kinda taint the storyline a bit... From what I've read about the back story for this movie (seeing it is based off real life events) there are a number of discrepancies that changed the movie for a more suitable audience in the States; stuff like the actual location of the zoo... Rosemoor Wildlife Park was based off the original zoo, Dartmoor Zoological Park, which is actually located in Devon, England. Although the necessary changes that were made to the film for a US audience were approved by Benjamin Mee for the film itself, I can't help but feel that the true story itself has changed considerably as a result.

As much as I enjoyed this film, I'll have to give this film 4 stars... Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent movie, but I feel that the number of changes made to the original story make it less "based on a true story" and more "trying to appeal to as many US movie-goers as possible." I guess that's Hollywood for you...